Post #3 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (Third Decade)

I'm in the (slow) process of writing about people who have influenced me in various ways over the years. I've been separating my ponderings into blog posts spanning one decade at a time. This is the third installment of the series I began since turning 60 this past summer. Click here to see the first post and here for the second installment, in case you need to backtrack. 

Third Decade: 1986-1995, ages 21 to 30 years old

Bethany Christian School

Following my two years of teaching in Arkansas, I taught for two more years - at a new school in my own home state. I moved from Hayward to Stratford, Wisconsin (a three-hour drive) to teach at Bethany Christian School in its first two years of existence. (I've been called the George Washington teacher of the school, which is a bit much, in my opinion) The school board and the parents of the students were generous with their guidance and affirmation as I tried to be a good pioneer teacher. I don't know quite how it happened, but some very special bonds were formed between the students and me during those years I spent among them and their families. To this day, meeting up with them not only kindles fond memories, but also continues to encourage me when they say things like, "You were my favorite elementary teacher."  

I boarded with a widow named Verna, and her deaf daughter, Lori. By her example, Verna taught me much about hard work, compassion for suffering people, expressiveness in prayer, and trust in God to meet one's needs. Boarding with her and Lori also gave me new opportunities, such as growing accustomed to the living quarters of an old farmhouse (think steep stairs and tiny bedrooms) and learning the basics of sign language. 

In-laws

My very first in-law was Nolan, my twin's husband. Brono (from Brother Nolan), as we affectionately called him, was my only in-law for the seven weeks between their wedding and ours, at which time I received a passel of in-laws by marrying Ken. Nolan has always impressed me with his ambition and wisdom, and the way he loves and leads his family. Over the years, I've gained more in-laws on the Schrock side, who add beauty, friendship, and interest to my life. 

I couldn't ask for a better second family than the Applepeople Tribe. Ken's family has taught me, by their example in their apple-packing business, the richness of befriending and interacting with people of any nationality. Not only have I gained from The Martins a host of great recipes, definitions to many new words or phrases, and instructions to a myriad of games, I have also gradually learned how to consider what I called arguments as mere friendly debates when the family gets together. (how was I to know right off, if voices and emphases are raised over how many kms and point.kilometers it is to Madeupville from here?) 

Tinlerfer People

I have also been influenced greatly and positively by our family's interactions with The Tinlerfer Tribe over the years. Our three-families group began rather spontaneously when I got to know Cathy and Sharon as teachers at Countryside Christian School, back before any of us had children. As we began to add people, activities, and experiences to our group, somebody (Darrel, maybe?) came up with the idea to blend the last parts of our family names into one name to identify the tribe: Tin from the Ken Martin family, ler from the Darrel Wagler Family, and fer from the Steve Kuepfer Family. 

Spending time with the Tinlerfers has taught me much, such as how to efficiently convert one's house into a hotel for three families for one night, tips for cooking meals over a campfire, and how to express oneself more openly with trusted friends, not to mention how to move quick and lively when oil from a fondue pot spills over and catches fire on the tablecloth! 

My son Rolin 

Since Rolin is my firstborn, he has had a profound impact in shaping me as a mother. (ha ha, both literally and figuratively, eh?) Because of him, I took on an identity that in one sense will never leave, even after I die. When he was young, his dependency on me enlarged my heart and expanded my capacity to nuture. As he matured, his questions stemming from a curious nature and his passion for science invited me to grow in the wonder of God's creation. He has helped to teach me, by his example, how to speak clearly both in voice and thoughts while expressing oneself in formal speech or informal discussion. 

These days, he continues to inpsire me with his leadership qualities at work, at church, and in his home - as a husband, and as a father to a first-grader and three preschoolers (who are the exact same age!) His love of books and learning hasn't seemed to diminish, although his responsibilities probably call for more intentionality to get his reading worked in than what it used to. He enhances our family's Christmas gatherings by his expertise in organizing our book/gift exchange annually. 

Circle letter Danettes

I don't know exactly when I started the circle letter that I share with three other Danettes, but I do know that it's been fun to correspond via mail with other ladies who share my not-so-common name. Although the four of us haven't ever gotten together in person, I've had the pleasure of interacting with women younger than me through our exchange of hand-written or typed letters. It seems I've been able to watch them grow up and raise their families (and for some of them, become a grandma) and to sense the ways God is leading them by reading their descriptions on paper and studying the family photo cards we receive from them occasionally. Being in a circle letter with them has also helped me develop some good letter-writing habits, espeically the discipline of getting my contribution in and hopefully not leaving the pack of Danettes literature to languish on the shelf for half a year!

My son Ricky

Ricky, from his very beginning, has shown me the adventure aspect of being one to change things up. He arrived weighing a whopping ten pounds, four ounces, (I called him my 10-4 good buddy) thus offering me the triumph of having my biggest baby as my first natural birth after C-section. As he grew up, he taught me the joys and frustrations of mothering a child who was a delightful mix of artistic, determined, affectionate, wordsmithy, musical, humorous and mischievous. He's also demonstrated to me the fun of spontaneity. He's the only one I know who can readily turn a statement from the cook into a syncopated rap line on the spot: Youcan put da Cool Whip on toppa da pie... 

While Ricky has learned how to push me to the edge of annoyance with his ribbing: Mom, what are the different pronunciations of hock and hawk, again? (to him and his sibs there is no difference) he's also shown me the richness of sharing heart matters. I've also enjoyed the times we've been able to collaborate on creative projects involving photography and videography. I love knowing that I'll get a hanging basket of flowers from him & Jasmine for Mother's Day and I look forward to the little exchanges of conversation we sometimes have when he parks his bike in our garage during his work day at Martin's. I admire the way he relates to children and I'm so excited to see him become a dad for the very first time -soon. 

Countryside Church Friends

In my transitioning from a rather small church setting in northern Wisconsin to the vast Mennoniteland of southern Ontario, I wondered how I could ever feel anchored in the sea of people that inhabited one congregation alone. I guess I just had a lot to learn from the Countryside Church people in the area of welcoming. By being themselves in a solid Waterloo County kind of way, they showed me hospitality and invited me into their homes, their work projects, their Bible studies, and their friendships. (Who knew that one small conversation about parenting could provide much-needed affirmation and pave the way to a lifelong friendship?) In time, I came to appreciate the benefits of belonging to a large church family, not the least of which was having lots of help and support in annual events such as Secret Sisters suppers, Summer Bible School and Sunday School picnics.

Countryside Church Youth Group

There's nothing quite like being youth leaders to help one stay young at heart. The Countryside Youth provided this opportunity for Ken and me while we were youth sponsors for several years early in our marriage. The young men and women in the youth group at the time were gracious and cooperative as I learned to venture beyond my comfort zone in planning and preparing large amounts of food and drink for several dozen people at any given event (I still cringe when I recall the burnt cocoa taste of the hot chocolate served at a youth social due to my not knowing how to operate kitchen equipment for the masses), in heading up discussions/talk times with the girls, and organizing activities for a group of people while knowing I wouldn't be able to please everyone every single time. One of my favorite things about being with the youth was watching them love on our two boys, who were in the toddler and infant stage at the time. 

Post #2 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (Second Decade)

 

Last month I began a 60th Birthday series by posting photos of me with people I met during the first decade of my life, along with some descriptions of ways they influenced me. Here is the second installment of my reflections on those who helped shape me; this post spans my life's second decade, most of which I spent as a teen.

Second Decade: 1976-1985, ages 11 to 20 years old

My brother Troy Schrock

Troy's coming into our family brought me the excitement of being an 11-year-old big sister. As he grew up, he astounded me with his quick learning (he started walking when he was 9 months old), amused me with his funny sayings and later his witty remarks and puns, and annoyed me with his untidy ways. If I had known back then how inventive he would become, what wisdom he would gain, and how inspiring it would be to have discussions with him on philosophical and spiritual topics, I likely would have offered him more grace. I appreciate, and am still learning from, his example of having a calm and matter-of-fact approach to life. 

My sister Faye Schrock Eby

Faye displayed tenaciousness from the very beginning of her life. Early on, she got me going in lessons of prayer over the health and development of preemie babies, since she came ten weeks before her due date. (Many years later the practice would revive when my twin granddaughters came eleven weeks early.) Over the years, my youngest sister has showed me that spunk and expressiveness can add such color to life. She has also demonstrated in the most delightful way that an age gap of sixteen years can eventually shrink into oblivion as sister-bonding strengthens. These days, video chats with us three sisters are comedy, empathy, and serendipity all wrapped into one joy-filled gift of time.

Church School classmates and teachers

I didn't realize it then, but the visionaries and practical workers in my church who got Northwoods Mennonite School going in the 1970's were key people to place rebar in the foundation of my Christian education. My teachers followed, a line of mostly young women who, in spite of the rapid turnover of teachers from year to year in that era (only one of them broke the record by teaching two years in a row at our school), made an impression on me with their various methods of educating. Most outstanding were the ones whose love of teaching was the spark that lit my own passion for teaching. (The two-year teacher also fanned its flame by giving me teacher apprenticeship opportunities.) 

My classmates helped to make school a place I wanted to be. They shared with me the love of learning, taught me that young students can be both annoying and charming, increased my delight in collective imagination during art class or creative play at recess, and posed a challenge of loyalty. Will I listen to Mom & Dad and wear my rubber boots at recess even on a sunny day in spring or be swayed by my teammates' pleas for me to ditch the clunky footwear so I can run to first base faster when it's my turn to kick in a game of Kickball? And, although some of the girl classmates pulled me into more relationship drama than I wished to experience, they provided me with lifelong friendship material. 

Northwoods Youth Group and youth leaders/sponsors

We had a small youth group when I was growing up, but it was large enough to make a significant impact on me in my late teens and early twenties. There's something about sharing experiences with young peers, from the lighter fare of daffy and mystery suppers to the more serious times of discussing scripture, that expands one's world and deepens roots of beliefs and values. I attribute my spiritual growth over this time, at least in part, to the youth leaders (we called them youth sponsors) of our group, too. Their genuine interest in me made a huge and positive impression. 

My youth group also helped me hone my skills in music. I learned more about sight singing, and about teamwork in choral music when surrounded by my youth group and some older church members as Northwoods Chorus prepared to go on its first-ever choir tour. "Making a tape" with my twin and Monica, our good friend from the youth group, taught me lessons in faithfulness as we met for practice sessions, and perseverance as we slogged our way through the disppointment of needing to redo the recording session (to block out road noise from outside the studio that managed to invade our first cassette). 

Employers and guests

Employment by neighbors and acquaintances in the Round Lake Peninsula vicinity offered valuable lessons in the work world. For instance, a job at Harry's Berries taught me precision while feeding strawberry shoots hairy with roots into the rubber cups of the planter's wheel, endurance while snipping blossoms or hoeing weeds in the long berry rows under a hot sun, and bravery when instructed to wield my hoe for squishing the grubs found in the soil under wilted strawberry plants. 

While working for people in our community, not only did I gain experience in earning and managing money; I also learned household tips (or hacks, as they are called nowadays) and got to see first-hand how unique and interesting employers can be. Recalling days of working (usually with my twin) at cleaning cabins, making beds at a resort, babysitting, raking leaves, and painting stirs up memories of certain individuals - Elsa squinting at me through her thick eyeglasses and declaring (in her strong German accent) that I couldn't have dusted everything properly in that amount of time, short Betty J hunched up over the car's steering wheel as she drove and alternately creeping along or gunning it on our way to a cleaning job, and Mercedes (no, not Benz) marching from cabin to cabin and scrubbing kitchen sinks with the energy and enthusiasm of someone half her age.  

I also was shaped by my parents' practice of inviting community folk into our home for meals and into our lives for friendship. Whether they were neighbors, long-time or new acquaintances of Mom and Dad, customers of Mom's garden produce, or employers and patrons in Dad's carpenter business, they entered our family's world and brightened it. 

Maranatha Bible School

The time I spent at Bible School (altogether, parts of seven consecutive years) was a very formative experience in my journey toward adulthood. Interacting with the students expanded my social circles and knowledge of social ettiquette. Because of MBSers, I lost some of my shyness and gained more confidence. (I hope) Some among the group who were mere acquaintances at the start went on to become life-long friends, and in some cases, part of my second family. During some terms, a bonus was having other twin pairs around to relate to. The classes I took whetted my appetite for studying the scriptures, and discussing practical aspects of Christian living. I had some teachers that made such a positive impression on me that to this day I want to read their stuff, listen to their messages, and talk to them in person when I get a chance.   

Happy Hollow School

Moving to Arkansas and living in a Happy Hollow as a teacher for two school years helped to prepare me for adapting to life in a new community later on after I was married. Ora & Edna Mae and their daughter Marcile, my co-teacher, provided an example of gracious hosts as they eased a rather timid and quite homesick 19-year-old into their family, church, school, and community culture. New experiences and challenges abounded in my first years of teaching; I benefitted from needing to grow my courage and confidence. Joining a local youth group in their ministry and social activities, and later, singing in a choir composed of young adults from three different churches, offered pleasant diversion from teaching and gave me a place of belonging. Since the time I spent living in that down-home mountain hollow, I have kept a warm place in my heart for folksy people, certain phrases spoken in a southern drawl, dulcimer music, and idyllic scenes such as dogwoods and redbuds overhanging creeks running under low-water bridges. 

Grandma Verda Smeltzer Schrock

Some years after Grandma Schrock died from cancer, Grandpa Schrock got married to an older single lady named Verda, introducing me to the concept of welcoming step-people into the family. (also to the interesting phenomenon of old people getting sweet on each other) Grandma Verda was a great example of faithfulness in domestics, washing dishes vigorously and ironing religiously as she did. And generosity seem to ooze out her pores. I know that when I make food for twice as many guests as are around my table but still urge them to "Here, have some more", Grandma's hospitality features have rubbed off on me. I still have some handwritten letters from her, showcasing the fact that to enliven one's missives, you can never use too many! exclamation! marks! “We certainly don’t deserve all of His love! and yet He delights in His children to love and serve Him!... Thank you for coming so far to attend our tenth anniversary!... If in my old age, my mind ever begins to wander to the point of slow return like hers did, I hope I can be as sweet about it as she was.

KEN!

Ever since he was my Bible School buddy who then became my boyfriend, and then became my husband, Ken has taught me so much about steadfastness in many areas of life. Early on in our friendship I noticed his commitment to God, his love of children and the value he placed on family. I was impressed with his dedication to pursuing his relationship with me through the many miles (and another country) that separated us, mail delays, a mom who kept the brakes on as much as she dared, teasing from my brothers and others, my doubts and my determination to do things exactly right, (already back then our rule-upholder and rule-questioner tendencies showed up in contrasting measure) and the focus I placed on my school-teaching responsibilities. 

Ken, a.k.a. Mr. Optimistic, has been a helpful counter-balance to my pessimism, and I appreciate what he's taught me about living life even-keeled. The blessed thing about my marriage to him is that, even though we're both 60 now, he's still helping to shape who I am becoming.