Not Done With Her "Ermotions"

No one told me when I signed up for motherhood that it would eventually turn into grandmotherhood that looks like this: wild and worrisome and wonderful all at once.

Take the past eleven days, for instance. Within them, we welcomed five new grandbabies - a set of triplets and a set of twins - born eight days apart.

On January 10, Rolin and Joy’s two sons and one daughter arrived. The girl’s name is Piper Sage and she weighed 4 lbs, 12 oz. at birth. Jude Malachi was 4 lbs. even, and Quinn Keegan weighed 4 lbs, 11 oz.

On January 18, Kayleen and Carlin’s identical twin girls entered the world, eleven weeks early. Eleanor Jane weighed 2 lbs, 4 oz, and Eva Noel weighed 2 lbs, 13 oz.

These unique multiple events kicked my grandmothering into high gear. Although I haven’t been able to do all that much yet, I certainly have been able to feel much!

Something I have been able to do is providing childcare for Seth, our first and only grandchild up until eleven days ago. Seth stayed at our house for a little while over the time of his siblings’ birth. I thought he really did quite well with the initial changes to his routine.

One morning soon after the triplets were born, I was sitting on the couch with my devotional book and journal at hand (and probably with my phone in hand). Seth was capering around the living room and frequently landing close to me. I soon realized that I had forgotten what it’s like trying to have quiet time with a preschooler at my elbow.

He kept up what seemed like a steady stream of questions while intermittently I assured him that I did want to play bat and ball with him in the back yard (yes, it’s been a mild January) as soon as I was done having my devotions, but he should play quietly with the dinkies for a little while longer. Finally, at his suggestion, I set the timer for ten minutes.

But next thing I knew, he was at my side, imploring, “When can we play outside, Grandma? Are you done with your ‘ermotions’ yet?”

I tried to keep my chuckle from becoming too audible while I answered him in my mind. “No, Honey, I won’t be done with my ermotions for a long, long time!”

I’m pretty sure he meant devotions, since he had just heard me use that term, but it sounded like emotions and I thought it was quite fitting for how intertwined my devotion and emotions have become lately. In fact, if I were to follow King David’s lead and write a psalm concerning the past week or two, it might sound something like this:

My heart is full of awe and gratitude, O Lord, the Bringer of new life. Three grandbabies at once! I praise you for their safe arrival, their healthy weights, their tiny soft-skinned bodies so perfectly designed. And then twin grandbabies, tinier still, so soon after! I praise you for their safe arrival, their brave struggle to adapt to life outside the womb, their fragile and dependent little selves so beautiful and precious.

You are the Planner and Orchestrator of such miraculous happenings, and I marvel at your so-beyond-me ways. Your goodness and generosity make me want to dance about the kitchen as I fry eggs and wipe the counters. How can I truly thank and praise you according to what you deserve? You cause my heart to overflow in adoration. Will you accept my grateful tears as worship?            

You also hold me when my heart is bowed down with anxiety, O Lord; when the enemies of fear and disappointment rise up against me. My daughter’s unborn twin babies were threatening to come before they really should and now they have come at a better stage but they are needing to deal with the many challenges of preemie life.

My worries about their health and well-being cause my tears to overflow. I want to wander aimlessly about the kitchen, slump over the counter and weep in my distress. How paltry a salty offering can I bring and you still count it as worship?

But lo, O Lord, how manifold are your provisions for your daughter at such a time as this. You show me your love through people. You send friends who offer muffins, a listening ear, gentle hugs, shrieks of wild delight, encouraging little messages on my phone, a drop-in visit, and a gift bag solely for the big brother of the triplets.

You surprise me with the sight of my husband down on his hands and knees – while tamping down his own gag reflex – to scrub the living room carpet after the grandson was sick on it.

You gather me with your people at church on a Sunday morning and shore up my spirit as we sing your truth together.

You design teams of skilled, compassionate NICU nurses and doctors to care for our grandchildren in ways that these wee babies’ own parents and we grandparents cannot.

Yes, your lovingkindness shown to me through other people is noteworthy and praiseworthy.

You know everything about me, Lord. You know the early uprising of my thoughts before the alarm signals morning has come. You know my downsitting on the couch with my phone in hand to receive and send messages from many curious, encouraging friends & relations.

You understand my angst afar off, and are acquainted with all my unsurrendered ways when I consider taking off (literally) on a trip to Thailand for a long-planned IGo Retreat while there are almost as many Kenites in the hospital as those who aren’t hospitalized.

My desire to accompany/support my husband in his role on the IGo board, as well as my longing to stay back home to assist my children in the care of their children – you know it altogether. Your thorough understanding of me and my situation comforts my soul.

When the onlookers of our planning whisper behind their hands, What ARE Ken & Danette thinking?, you will be my shield and buckler. God, only one zing of your arrows will cause my pride and people-pleasing to stumble and fall. Trust and full confidence in you will pick me up.

You encompass me round about with your presence. You enfold me in your tender embrace. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; I am astounded.

I will praise you, Lord, with my whole being. When my emotions are high and when they are low, I will give you thanks. You only will I worship as long as I have breath (and tears).

Selah.

 

Answering Multiple Questions (The Long and the Short of It)

For those of you who haven’t heard how things are multiplying around here, I’m here to tell you. Perhaps you could approach the following exchange as the interview you didn’t know you wanted to have.

For those of you who have already heard the news, and have been itching to ask more questions, I am here to answer. Perhaps this post will be the interview you’ve definitely been wanting to have and didn’t know exactly how to go about it.

For those of you who know how wordy I can be when answering questions, and for that reason have been avoiding even asking them, I am here to reassure you. Perhaps this series, with its options for both long and short answers, will be the interview you’ve been wanting to be able to handle.  

What's new in your family life? 

Short: We're expecting!

Long: We're expecting FIVE grandbabies - from only two families of the Kenites Tribe! Our son Rolin and his wife Joy are expecting triplets and our daughter Kayleen and her husband Carlin are looking forward to having twins. 

When are these grandchildren due?

Short: Next year. 

Long: Next year, and within the first four months of 2023, the Lord willing. Joy's due date is March 1, and Kayleen's twins are expected about 5 weeks later, in April. However, the more babies sharing the womb, the less chance they will be carried to full term. (Not only is it the more, the merrier; it is the more, the earlier, I guess) The typical gestation period for twins is 36-37 weeks, and for triplets the average is only 33 weeks.

How did the parents-to-be announce the news to you?

Short: Ultrasound pics.

Long: Ultrasound pics on our family's WhatsApp chat. For the triplets, Rolin and Joy messaged their news to the Kenites on the day that Joy’s ultrasound appointment revealed three babies. The first post was simply a photo, an ultrasound image of a single baby. Five minutes later, a second ultrasound pic arrived on the chat, this time along with a “Baby B” title on the print. In answer to the resulting curious responses from our family, Joy confirmed that, yes, that first pic sent was Baby A, so there were indeed two babies. Incredible! But then, five minutes later, we received the third ultrasound pic, titled “Baby C”, along with the caption “Rolin says we hit a triple”. Incredulosity x three!!! Several months later we received the welcome news that Kayleen and Carlin were expecting a baby, too – their first. When she had an ultrasound a couple of weeks following that announcement, Kayleen posted a single photo on our family’s WhatsApp chat. It was an ultrasound pic with Baby A and Baby B on it. Definitely double take material!!

How did you feel when you heard the news?

Short: Delighted.

Long: Delighted and overwhelmed. The triplets announcement was a lot to take in all at once, even if the news came in 5-minute intervals. My emotions rollercoasted through whoops, tears, and laughter. Then came the thought of many changes this would mean for Rolins – they’d have to get a bigger vehicle, a larger dwelling, a greater stash of baby equipment, a longer list of helpers... On the heels of that came the worry about the possible complications with carrying and birthing multiples. But oh, how exciting to think of getting three new grandchildren at once! I couldn’t get done smiling. Then Kayleen and Carlin sent us the pic of their unborn twins and my first impression was disbelief. I thought they must have somehow rigged the ultrasound photo with the appearance of two titles. Now I think “How could I?” but right then it was like, “How can this be happening in one family?” (Sorry, Carlins) After it finally sank in that for real there were twins coming, too, I couldn’t keep my heart from overflowing in the form of happy tears. Because I am a twin, I have long been fascinated with all things twin. Because I have had/keep having such a positive experience being a twin, I have long dreamed of either having twins myself (Ken could tell you his relief that we didn’t) or being closely related to someone having them. And now, my own daughter expecting twins…well, that was just a bit much – in a good way. My laughter may or may not have had some Sarah-echoes behind my tent flap.

Do you know the genders of the babies?

Short: Yes and no.

Long: Yes to the triplets and no to the twins. Rolin and Joy are having one girl and two boys. Kayleen and Carlin know that their twins are identical, (so, same gender) but they don’t know yet if they’re having two boys or two girls. They may decide to continue anticipating the surprise by waiting until the birth to find out. 

Have you been learning anything new about expecting multiples?

Short: Yes.

Long: Yes, more than I ever wanted to know about the risky business. I have learned that a mom carrying three babies might require a surgery called cerclage, which is a fancy name (especially said in a Parisian manner, like sir-clahzh) for a drawstring-type stitch that helps strengthen a weakening cervix. Ideally, this will allow the babies to stay safely inside for longer than they might otherwise do. I have learned that identical twins have different ways of being arranged in utero, and if they are something called mono/di, it means they are a lot more susceptible to a disease of the placenta called Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome, or TTTS for short. I have learned that TTTS can develop very quickly – in the space of a mere week or two. When that happens, one twin gets too much blood and the other twin doesn’t get enough, which can end up being life-threatening to both babies. I have learned about a laser surgery, nicknamed the Solomon Procedure, which can be performed to seal off the blood vessels on the surface of the shared placenta that are responsible for TTTS. Ideally, this treatment, if successful, will allow the twins to each get their own healthy dose of nutrients via the blood. I have learned that hearing about such hopeful possibilities for both babies to thrive after all can bring untold relief and gratitude to family members.

What has God been teaching you so far through this experience? 

Short: Trust

Long: Trust in the Maker and Sustainer of Life. I said at the beginning, just after finding out about the triplets, that I am holding this gift of coming grandchildren with an open hand. I wish to maintain such an attitude even while acknowledging that there is no guarantee these five tiny babies will all arrive safely and without any challenges. I’m finding, though, that the open hand concept is getting harder to implement with these growing grandbabies, the more time I have to anticipate and dream of all the grandma things I want to do with them and ways I want to be for them. Recently I found a keeper quote by Gina Brenna Butz, who expressed it well when she wrote, “God asks us to loosen our grip on life and in the process our hearts will open to something new. He invites us to…bring an attitude of hope, presenting our requests while trusting Him with the outcome. We put our hope not in the end result, but in God.” Yes, as I continue looking forward to meeting five new grandbabies in the coming months, God invites me to lean more often and more confidently on Him.