You Turn Me Into

To my six grandchildren, [five of whom have either just turned one year old (today!) or are turning one year old next week] namely, Seth, Piper, Jude, Quinn, Eleanor & Eva,

You turn me into...

...an admirer of chubby little hands, fat little feet, softly screeching or babbling little voices

...a connoisseur of smiles - the so happy to see you ones, the quick on and quick off kind, the rather wobbly and showing through tears ones, the only on one corner of the mouth type, the showing off your cute two tiny and only teeth kind, the full-out almost breaking into giggles type that make it impossible for me not to reciprocate

...a worrier when you get sick or need a puffer (or even when you're gagging over the big-people chunks of food your mom so calmly and confidently offers you because she knows you're old enough to handle it)

...a reader of stories aloud, using many different voice levels and expressions

...a sweet-talker, especially when you need distraction from sadness or fright or anger or when you're determined to get into something you shouldn't

...a get your 58-yr-old bones down here on the carpet kind of grandma during play time or bottle time when I babysit you 

...a mooshy-hearted grandma at the snugglies you surprise me with

...a repeater of silly phrases and questions with obvious answers [did you wake up? let's look at this! where's the puppy? you'll be okay! I'm gonna get you! did you come to Grandma's house?]

...an unashamed braggart (I never knew there'd be so many ways to steer the conversation around to how we got triplet and twin grandchildren within eight days of each other!)

...a displayer of art on my fridge (such clever moms you all have, getting you to make an elephant-out-of-a-balloon card to delight me with or getting you to bop-paint pictures on papers that she slid into Ziploc bags and placed on your high chair trays and then sending the finished masterpieces to me in an envelope via snail mail) 

...a member of The Observer Team, along with your grandpa (how entertaining it is just to sit and watch you roll or crawl around on the floor, examining books and toys and exploring methods of play)

...an admirer of my own children and their spouses when I see how you are parented so well

...a Mennecostal hybrid when it comes to praise sessions upon reflection over the past year - how is it that you went from such tiny, fragile, and quite-ill-at-times preemies to robust, mobile, smart and becoming little people in a matter of twelve months? I say, "Only God!"

...an explainer regarding the dearth of grandchildren pics on my social media platforms. When I say that you are the cutest ever, most darling and delightful subjects in photos, I'm serious. But, for reasons such as, but not limited to, being on the same team as your mom and dad in desiring to keep you safe from online exploitation, I'm not posting pictures here as proof for my readers. They just have to believe me. 

Love,

Grandma

It Takes a City

L to R: Auntie Kerra with Quinn, Mama Joy with Jude, Grandma Danette with Piper  

Photo taken by Great-aunt Annette, during the triplets' first visit to Grandpa Martin's house. 

Stating the obvious here, I know, but it's been awhile since I posted. Much has happened between times. If I would've published a blog post every time one has percolated in my brain during the past months, my readers would have liters to consume and everyone would soon be well-caffeinated. 

But the percolation never advanced beyond steam and aroma to actual coffeemugfuls, and by now there's so much of the brew I could share that it seems overwhelming and I don't know where to begin. 

Why did I choose this metaphor when I'm not even a coffee-drinker? My husband would love if I'd goal toward becoming one, but my real intention is becoming a blogger who actually blogs. How could I fulfill my dream of blogging more regularly? Taking on the role of my own advisor, I tell myself to start somewhere and to start small. Perhaps I will simply begin with yesterday. 

Yesterday the morning service at our church, Oasis Mennonite, had a lot of features in it. There was the normal opening worship time of singing and then Sunday School. There was a receiving of a new member into our church family, and a special prayer time for our co-pastor and his wife as they take on the lead pastor role when our lead pastor and his family go to Thailand for a year. There were three reports given by men who have recently traveled overseas for a short term of service in war-torn Ukraine.

And there was a baby dedication. 

I've been to dedications before where several babies have been blessed in the same service, but I've never been at one in which the multiple babies belong to the same set of parents. Yesterday morning the three babies being dedicated were our triplet grandchildren, and I found it pretty moving. 

                                     📷~ The triplets' great-aunt Linda

For their time of blessing, the triplets were invited to come forward (with their parents and whomever else was needed.😊) Rolin carried Jude, Joy held Quinn, and Grandma Jewel had Piper as they walked up front to face the congregation. All three babies were awake and looking pleasant and/or inquisitive as their dad said a few words and while our church's two pastors and the triplets' grandpa Ken gave a prayer of blessing, each for a different one of the trio.

In his little speech, Rolin told the congregation that right around this time last year, he and Joy found out they were expecting triplets. His first emotion after hearing that they had "hit a triple" had been great excitement and then seconds later, he was hit with the enormity of the responsibility and work that three babies would entail. All of this had been rather overwhelming.

Rolin also reminded us that it had been only about a week later, then, that he and Joy broke the triplets news to the church family at Oasis's annual weekend campout. This incredible announcement had been met with much delight, of course, but people had also acknowledged that there would be challenges for Rolin's family in the months ahead, risks and concerns unique to the phenomenon of Having & Raising Multiples. 

Now, at the babies' dedication service, Rolin wished to express his and Joy's thanks to the people at Oasis for supporting them throughout the past year. The meals shared, the diapers and other gifts given, the time invested in helping to care for the triplets (especially those who did some night shifts during the first months the babies were home from the hospital) all meant so much. He said he now has this joke... "You know how they say it 'takes a village to raise a child?' Well, I'm discovering that it takes a city to raise triplets!"

                                   📷~ The triplets' great-aunt Linda

Sitting on a side bench in the church sanctuary during the dedication, I was the grandma looking after the triplets' big brother. And leaking my ermotions, like usual. My heart kept amen-ing as the men up front prayed for the babies, so overjoyed and full of gratitude was I (we all are!) for the way God has shown His goodness in the lives of these three already. 

I would've loved to also attend another baby dedication happening in another church on the same Sunday. Yesterday morning our twin granddaughters, Eleanor and Eva, were also blessed and prayed over in Meadville, Pennsylvania where Carlin and Kayleen's church family meets. 

I think it's pretty special that all five grandbabies were dedicated on the same day. I'm dedicated to perpetuating praise to our Loving Father who delights in orchestrating such things. 

And the One who raises up a city for parents of multiples when they need it. 

Carlin with Eleanor, and Kayleen with Eva

                                                        📷~ Annette Bechtel

Embracing the Heat

 

In January, Ken and I spent a week in Thailand. Since Ken is a board member for IGo, (Institute for Global Opportunities), we were invited to attend the IGo Board & Staff Retreat held "on-site" this year. (after two years of planning and cancellation) It was our privilege to attend the several-day meeting in a gorgeous setting: a resort called Horizon Village, located near Chiang Mai. 

Since it was our third visit to Thailand, we knew a little more what to expect this time upon our arrival. We welcomed the sight of the country's abundant foliage and brilliant flowers, heard the friendly sah-wah-dee greetings singsonged to friends and strangers alike, and savored the taste of fruit that seemed to have been picked from its natural habitat mere minutes before landing on the buffet line or our serving plates.

We also expected to encounter some heat - both in the outdoor temperature and in the spiciness of the food. The degree of warmth in the air was perfect. I could easily tolerate - yes, even revel in - the lovely sunny weather we experienced. The times that I stood out in direct sunshine at midday got a little sweatin' warm, I'll admit, but that situation was easily remedied by simply moving into the shade. 

The spicy heat of some Thai food dishes still took me by surprise, though. I found myself needing to implement something my son had taught me long ago - a practice he had learned from an uncle who grew up in El Salvador. The correct way to enjoy spicy foods, my son told me, is to embrace the heat in the moment of encounter. My understanding of the term "embrace the heat" is that one should not resist or merely tolerate the level of zing, but actually allow the heat to accentuate the flavors of the food and heighten the meal experience as a whole. 

Since our trip, I've been thinking some more about the phrase "embrace the heat", and wondering if it can apply to one's circumstances in life, as well. If "heat" describes the hard experiences I face, the difficult and painful things that happen to me, is there a way that my life can be enriched by embracing those times? 

This seems counterintuitive to me. I know that it's possible for me to look back after coming through a season of heat, (although maybe I'm still panting at the mouth and wiping watery eyes and sweating brow) and see that the experience has brought about some good, but how can I embrace it (get close enough to the pain to take it in) while still in the midst of the trial? Is it even possible for someone like me, who comes with a propensity for wanting out of unpleasant things as soon as I detect them? 

After arriving at the resort in Thailand, for instance, how was I supposed to graciously accept the annoyances of jet lag, let alone embrace them? And how could I have enriched my restless hours on a very unyielding mattress by getting up close and cozy with anxiety (that sinister grey beast invading the room upon my reading a 3:00am phone message that one of our preemie twin granddaughters was very sick with a lung infection)? I can only tell you that it does not come naturally for me to embrace the heat when I encounter it on my plate. 

And I certainly was not thinking enrichment or heightening of experience when I got sick on the first leg of our journey home from Thailand. The fatigue and "kinda weird" feeling I noticed coming over me while we waited in line at the Chiang Mai airport culminated in definite illness on the 6-hour flight to Seoul, South Korea. 

Sitting on the plane several hours into the flight, I woke up from the sleep of exhaustion feeling extremely weak and fainty. The lightheadedness (I don't know why it's called that, when really, it is dark and heavy) kept pulling me down and back into oblivion and releasing me out again to consciousness and then - - horrors of helplessness, I saw actual barf dribbled down the front of my dress! Immediately I knew the stuff was mine, and that it had gotten there without my conscious knowledge or permission. Sometimes life's circumstances are just plain nasty and in that moment, I had not the frame of mind and body to call any such thing enriching or flavorful. 

In the minutes that followed, a kind stewardess brought me some wet wipes, my stomach settled down enough that I could start to get more sleep, and my fainty feeling subsided considerably. A few hours later, I was able to walk off the plane unaided, which surely was answer to a prayer that I really hadn't had much umph to put into words. 

It was several days later until I felt completely well from my bout of food poisoning or whatever it was. At around the same time, our tiny granddaughter's situation with her infected lungs began to improve considerably, bringing great relief to all of us. Exactly how the episodes of "heat" enriched our Thailand trip was hard to say in the moments they were happening, and I'm not sure I know even now. 

Maybe they were meant to highlight the blessings of community. The interest and concern of our IGo Board and Staff friends for our preemie grandchildren meant so much to us as we shared updates/prayer requests with them. And finding out that others in our group were smitten with the same sudden illness on their way home evoked my sympathy for them and somehow made my recovering a little more bearable. 

Maybe the times of heat made the cooler, more ordinary and comfortable times more noticeable and appreciated. Perhaps embracing the total experience, a blending of the great and the not so great, is what allows me to look back on the trip and say what a rich gift it was. 

I agree with Sarah Breathnach, who says in her "Simple Abundance" book, "Usually we don't know why something has occurred and we won't until there's enough distance to take a backward glance...blessing whatever vexes us is the spiritual surrender that can change even troublesome situations for the better...writing it down (acknowledging our blessings) focuses our attention on the abundance already within our grasp and makes it real."

Embracing the heat in my life - instead of bracing against it - means I don't try to convince myself things are not hot when they are. It means I acknowledge that sometimes circumstances do pack some heat and I would benefit from paying attention to the blend of flavors and how this hard thing can heighten the taste of the life experiences that it graces.

I feel like I speak of this glibly, though, when I look around and see the fiery seasons others are encountering currently. One friend nurses her husband while slowly losing him to Lewy Body dementia, another is undergoing chemo treatments for cancer, still others suffer conditions of body and mind that are debilitating and chronic. Someone else is grieving choices made by a daughter who recently left her spouse. A month ago, my own sister-in-law lost her husband to sudden death from a heart attack, following his dealing with a malignant brain tumor. I can almost see these friends' plates sizzling, and I wonder if they feel like someone who has unsuspectingly bitten into a pepper hot enough to make them altogether lose their appetite for the rest of the meal.

Maybe that's how Paul felt, too, when he prayed three times for his thorny difficulty (whatever it was) to be removed. When it wasn't, it seems like he accepted (embraced?) the infirmity and received the grace of Jesus, realizing that glory could come from the blending of his own weakness and the strength of Christ. 

I like the way the Amplified Bible expands the story: "But He said to me, 'My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.' Therefore I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!" 2 Corinthians 12:9

Jesus is our greatest example to follow in embracing the heat. On the cross, He acknowledged excruciation in body, soul, and spirit. Under the weight of our sin, He endured the cross, treated its shame as nothing, and accepted death because of the joy that was in the life beyond it. No one can understand us as intimately as this God who became one of us so that we may become one of His. What better Companion is there for us in embracing all of life? 

The words from a song* resonate with me as they depict us on a journey, like the unsuspecting disciples with Jesus on the road to Emmaus, walking "doubtful and dreading, blinded by sadness" and experiencing "slowness of heart". The song goes on to remind us that "yet Christ walks with us, ever awaiting our invitation: Stay, do not part."

In the heat, I want to embrace Him. 

* "Day of Arising", by Susan Palo Cherwien

A sampling of the fresh and flavorful fruit of Thailand. 

Hibiscus showing off its brilliance in January.

This friendly vendor makes the best smoothies in the market, so we were told, 

and so we now believe after tasting them for ourselves.

Gorgeous views at Horizon Village, where the IGo Board and Staff Retreat was held.

IGo Board members and their spouses, L to R: Merle & Edith Burkholder, 

Dayton & Judy Skrivseth, Val & Barb Yoder, Carl & Grace Heatwole, 

Lowell & Judy Miller, Dave & Ellie Yoder, Justin & Laura Zimmerman, 

Ryan & Amy Huber, Ken & Danette Martin, Josh Wagler (missing: Hannah) 

[📷- Clinton Weaver]

Women's share-and-get-acquainted time during one of the sessions.

A shopping trip included browsing several fabric stores in Chiang Mai.

Sometimes the best discussions happened on the back of the songtow.

We enjoyed informal times of visiting with IGo staff members, 

such as the evening spent in Tim & Linda Stoltzfus's home.

I'm so grateful to God that Ken & I were able to go on the Thailand trip together. 

I certainly had times of doubt beforehand that everything would work out, 

especially with the early arrivals of the preemie grandbabies, 

but the timing ended up being very workable. Thank you, Jesus!

Our very sick granddaughter Eva, as she was when we were over in Thailand.

Eva, as she is now. (Isn't Jesus amazing?)

Eva's twin Eleanor, showing how she can manage breathing 

completely on her own - at least for a little while. 

Both girls are making great strides in their progress 

toward the goal of going home from the hospital. 

Hopefully in the next week or two, they'll be released. 

The twins side by side for the first time since their birth two months prior. 

I wonder what they thought of this special treat. 

And while we're talking babies, here's a most precious lapful of them. 

The triplets [L to R: Jude, Piper, Quinn] are growing chubby 

and are delighting us with their responsiveness. 

No chuckles or coos that I've heard yet, but certainly winning smiles!

[📷- Joy Martin]

Update on the GrandDarlin's

The triplets (Jude, Piper, & Quinn) are getting close to four weeks old, and are getting more adorable by the day. So says their smitten grandma! 

All three have been gaining weight nicely during their time in the NICU at the local hospital. At three weeks old, Jude was a little over 5 lbs. and Piper & Quinn each weighed around 6 lbs. 

It's not their weight or how long they've already been in the NICU that determines the length of hospital stay for the babies, though. The goal to reach before they can come home is managing full oral feeds every 3 hours over a period of 48 consecutive hours. Drinking a bottle or nursing takes a lot of strength and perseverance when you're a preemie. It's so easy to peter out early or to even sleep through feeding time. 

Piper was the first one to meet the requirements, and she was discharged from the hospital to come home on Wednesday of this past week. Yay! Quinn will probably be the next one home; he can manage at least 24 hours of great feeding schedule. And Jude will no doubt be close on Quinn's heels, as he follows the example of his brother and sister.

Big Brother Seth was very happy to welcome his baby sister home. Piper is the one he'd chosen to help out with the most, even before the triplets were born. But he did say that when he gets tired of taking care of her, Mommy & Daddy will take over for him. (Rolin says Seth probably figures it's wise not to overcommit...)

I got to hold Piper (our first granddaughter!) for the first time this week. I went to Rolin & Joy's place to be with Seth while Joy took Piper to the hospital for a weight check, and while Joy made last-minute preparations to leave, I snuggled the wee one in her cozy pink sleeper. It was an absolute delight!

Eva

Eleanor

The twins (Eleanor & Eva) are 2.5 weeks old, and they are the tiniest-but-sweetest humans I have ever seen. They are living in their NICU rooms next door to each other in a Pittsburgh hospital, where they will be for quite some time yet, given their early start in life outside the womb. Both girls have been gaining weight, and are climbing toward 3 lbs. This is good progress considering they had even dipped a bit below their birth weights of 2 lbs. 4 oz and 2 lbs. 13 oz. 

Eleanor, the donor twin (in the Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome scenario) and the smallest at birth, had been progressing very well, with fewer challenges than Eva, the recipient twin. Until a few days ago, when breathing became harder for her than it had been. Testing revealed that a valve in Eleanor's heart has not closed as it should since birth, causing less blood to pass through her lungs than necessary for receiving sufficient oxygen. 

It is not uncommon for this to happen in preemies, but it is something that the doctors are working on to resolve. Hopefully the treatment of giving Eleanor Tylenol will help to constrict the valve, and further measures will not be needed. (Please, Jesus!)

Eva has had some good days this week, after a pretty rough time with respiratory challenges. When she started having trouble breathing, she was put on an oscillator, a type of ventilator which gave little bursts of air to assist her breathing. Then she developed pneumothorax (I think I'm spelling that right), which basically means that air pockets formed around her lungs. 

Eventually, Eva needed two chest tubes tubes inserted - one on each side of her chest - to help remove the air and allow her lungs to heal. Then she had further difficulty when she got an infection in her lungs. With so many tubes and wires connected to her, bacteria had prime opportunity to enter her body and grow. After being on antibiotics for several days, Eva's condition improved greatly. (Thank you, Jesus!)

Finally on Tuesday of this past week Eva was stable enough that Carlin and Kayleen were allowed to hold her for the first time. What a huge gift! In the last few days, Carlins have been able to snuggle both girls for long periods of time. This time of bonding and nurturing is so needful and precious. It warms my heart to hear of it.

We eagerly anticipate and gladly receive every bit of news regarding the twins and triplets. Our feelings tend to rise and fall, depending on the contents of the updates; many are the prayers that have ascended on behalf of our beloved little people and their parents. I suspect this kind of prayer life will be ongoing for us grandparents.

We're excited to go visit the triplets and hold them after all three are home. And now that we're back from our Thailand trip, we're planning another trip to Pittsburgh soon. I can hardly wait to see the twins and touch them again! How soon do you think NICU rules allow for grandparents actually holding their granddarlin's? 

I dream of times I can spend with my grandies in the future, and I think about what all I might be privileged to teach them. Right now, though, I feel like they are the ones teaching me. About love and about prayer. What a privileged student I am!