A Georgian House of Feasting

In my last blog post, I referenced an excerpt from Ecclesiastes about a house of mourning and a house of feasting. It is better to enter the former, says the writer of chapter 7, verse 2, because you learn more there than in the latter. We can learn much wisdom in the house of mourning, to be sure, but I don't think that means we should shy away from entering the house of feasting sometimes, or from really enjoying it while we're there. 

Several weeks ago, we entered a house of feasting in Georgia when we attended the wedding of my nephew Tyler & his lovely bride Louisa (aka Wesa). It was a time of great delight, and I learned a number of things that weekend, as well.  

I learned that...

...the beginning of March is a great time to visit a southern state such as Georgia, if you wish to go straight from freezing cold to summer warm, from gloom to bloom, from drab and bare to vivid and abundant. Of course, Georgia wasn't fully leafed and flowered out yet, but contrasted to southern Ontario, it was deliciously weathered.

...visiting a little "Mennonite fabric store" is a fun thing for the Schrock ladies to do while the Schrock men are visiting Outfitters.

...rubber coin purses still have the same clown-nose appeal to the youngsters nowadays that they had back when I was a schoolgirl. 

...Wesa's dad, Steve Overholt, is an eager, thorough tour guide. After we Schrock ladies and the men were finished browsing our respective shopping centers, we met again at the Overholt's farm, Wesa's home place, for a tour of their large dairy operation. Steve met us out front and invited us in his hospitable southern drawl to join him in "fixin' to go over yonder" for touring their carousel milking parlor. He was a great dispenser of fascinating info regarding the goings-on of their 500-cow dairy farm. Their industriousness and efficiency were impressive. At one point, Wesa's mom Kaylene came out and joined her husband in guiding the tour. I couldn't believe how relaxed they both were in graciously entertaining us "tourists" on the day before their daughter's wedding!

...Wesa's special charm captures little people.

...we can fit a lot of Schrocks into one tiny house, if we need to. We'd made last minute arrangements to host a pizza supper for any of the Tribe of Dan who weren't involved in the rehearsal on Friday night, and we all needed a place to gather. My bro-in-law Nolan, had who booked the Airbnb accommodations for him & Annette and Ken & me, asked the hostess for permission to have family over for the evening, and she promptly gave him the gracious go-ahead. I really wonder what the lady pictured - a handful of guests in her cottage-type house? Meanwhile, it was close to 30 of us that we crammed in!

...couples these days have unique guest books at their wedding. Signing the guest board here is my twin Annette, and the guest book attendant seated at the table is my niece Julianna (bro Tim & Margie's daughter, hence a sister to the groom).

...surprisingly, the art of macrame can show up in a wedding sermon, and even be the focal point of it! The preacher likened marriage to "macrame" work in the biblical Tabernacle, where loops were coupled together to "make into one". In his sermon points, he told the bride and groom to "couple the coupling", and offered them some "Do nots" as well as "Do knots". Besides the general admonitions for a Do not (don't end the day angry with each other ) and a Do knot (Give thanks for your spouse) there were very specific instructions for Tyler: a Do not (avoid climbing trees*) and a Do knot (Bring Wesa back home to visit).                  

*last summer, Tyler fell 20-some feet out of a tree he was climbing and broke his back. He has since fully recovered, PTL

...a young niece can pose an example of a person being cheerful even if she's feeling impatient. My bro Tom & Danae's family sat on the bench just ahead of us during the wedding ceremony. After the service, while we were sitting there waiting our turn to be ushered out, their daughter Paige turned around to face those of us behind her and generously offered her trademark smiles.

...a white raspberry cupcake paired with ice cream and trio-ed with an Andes mint makes an excellent dessert at a wedding reception. Other excellent features at this wedding reception were the white and lights and drapery making up the decor, the name cards (both at the bridal table under the pergola and at the guest tables surrounding the pergola), and the main course of the meal: mashed potatoes, poor man's steak, mixed vegetables, Rita's salad (I have no idea who Rita is, but I'm pretty sure she can make a mean salad), and dinner rolls with cinnamon butter. 

Another thing I learned about weddings there in the Montezuma area of Georgia is that folks go about them in a big way. They have spacious church buildings, large families and congregations, huge guest lists (the wedding reception hall was set up for 570 guests!), vast tables of good food and gallons of sweet iced tea, and hearts that are big on connection and hospitality. Speaking of which, we were amazed at all the friendly waves we received from people in cars we met while we were driving to church on Sunday morning. For me, it was very reminiscent of the time I taught school in Arkansas and one of my students explained the waving culture as You wave at everybody you meet on the road; if you don't know the person, you just lift a few fingers off the steering wheel in a wave, but if you do know the person, you get your whole hand off the wheel and wave like you mean it.

...weddings are such great places for visiting with the relatives, adoring the babies, and meeting new people while seeing how many connections we can make with mutual acquaintances. (are mennos the only ones to do this?) In the photos above, my sisters are talking with my niece Kristy (bro Todd and Sharon's daughter), my niece Sofia (sis Faye & Leroy's daughter) is enjoying her built-in soother, my SIL Margaret (bro Tim's wife, as well as mother of the groom) is watching her granddaughter Chloe, and my twin Annette & bro-in-law Nolan are entertaining Jameson (bro Tom & Danae's son) who is the newest member of the Tribe of Dan. Anni & Nolan have a special knack for engaging children. They are also great people with whom to stay up until midnight yakking and solving the world's problems - just sayin'.

...it's possible to take a bunch of pictures at a wedding and not get even one of the bride and groom in which they know you are taking the shot and they are looking right into the camera. I think T&L look so sweet in the pose above where, during the reception program they are waiting on the Mountain View crew to gather round them and help them sing a song, but I did also want a straight-on view of their faces. So I posted their wedding invitation pic here. As a side note: People say that in a fascinating marriage phenomenon, a couple starts looking alike after living together for years. Seems to me that it's only taken months of serving together at Mountain View for this to happen to Tyler and Wesa! What do you think?

...it's nice when the locals plan a meal and gathering time for the leftover company in the evening after the wedding. This provided more time for catch-up chats with my brothers and in-laws across from me at the supper table, for watching my curly-top niece Hope (sis Faye & LeRoy's daughter) mother her doll baby, and for lining up with Anni & Faye and trying to get a decent sister pose. Not talking about my sisters - they're decent already - I mean the pose we were trying for, where none of us had our eyes too closed or our laughter too open. Which was kind of hard when my brother was running the camera and making funny remarks, and taking pictures of Nolan taking pictures of us with his phone. Anyway, credit for the above photo goes to bro Todd. 

...even a glorious wedding day comes to a close. As I watched the sunset's glow spread over a graveyard next to the church, I marveled at the beauty of both life and death. 

The house of mourning and the house of feasting, I ponder. Yes, I can learn from both.

Five-Star Hospitality

Recently, Ken and I went on a six-day trip. Our route took us to Lancaster Co. in Pennsylvania, down through Delaware and North Carolina, and far enough into South Carolina that we almost hit the Georgia border. We booked hotel rooms for our lodging part of the time, but for two of the nights we decided to notify friends that we required some “putting up”. It has been said that hospitality not only requires putting guests up, but also some putting up with guests, which our friends must have been okay to do, because they let us come.

The hosts in both places where we stayed showed us impressive hospitality. One of the couples had other guests staying in their spare bedrooms, so they offered us the use of their spacious Airbnb accommodations. The bedroom was called The Elijah Room, but I say it was an Elijah Room with Extras, what with all the cushion and charm added to the simple bed, table, stool, and candlestick of the biblical Elijah’s quarters.

In the South, my cousin and his family offered us warm fellowship right along with the warm SC weather. You know how you can just jump right into easy, homey conversation with some people, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen them last? Well, they are definitely that kind of relatives. And visiting over sweet, cold watermelon and sweet iced tea only added to our taste of southern hospitality in their home.

I also had another lovely slice of southern hospitality when the host of the board meeting Ken attended in South Carolina arranged for the board member’s wives to attend a “proper Southern Tea” at his sister’s house. That afternoon was a true delight, bless my heart, getting to be in her “Setting Room” and at her fahn dahning room table, and all.

Being the recipient of these hospitality samples got me thinking about what all goes into making guests feel at home, and about the many, many times friends and relatives – and sometimes people we didn’t even know – have offered us this gracious gift. I am humbled and grateful.

Perhaps you have been hospitable to me and/or my family in the past. Thank you. Even if you have never had us in your home for a meal or an overnight stay, I’m going to guess that you have shown hospitality to someone in some way at some point. Thank you.

Thank you for:

Washing the bed sheets and pillow cases from the last time you had overnight guests, taking them (the sheets I mean, not the guests!) out of the dryer or off the line, and wrestling them onto the mattresses to get the rooms ready for us.

Powering on through the stage that occurs between inviting us and having us show up at your front door in which you seriously question what in the world you were thinking when you asked us to come.

Taking time from your stance at the stove to meet us at the door and to shake our hands or give us a hug when we arrived. Your hearty and authentic “Come in, come in!” was so welcoming.

Putting ordinary items into unique containers – like the strawberry jam in a teacup, or the flower garden bouquet in a gravy boat – because somehow that little twist of everyday made us feel special.

Giving up your bedroom for us to use for a few nights. And if it was your children, which is even more likely, who gave up their rooms for our use, please be sure to thank them for me.

Serving us such a lovely set-out breakfast on Sunday morning. Especially appealing were the bunches of grapes and wedges of cheese artfully arranged on the wooden board.

Having your whole family join us for the snack you offered us in your kitchen after our choir program in your church. Your children were so alert and engaged that it made us tell each other later we’re going to have a family like that when we grow up.

Sharing your gift of just plain being a good cook. Those mounds of fluffy mashed potatoes, though. Pooled with flavorful gravy alongside tender roast beef and onions…

Sharing your gift of implementing unusual (to me) ingredients in your dishes, giving me new ideas to try at home. Like cinnamon on roast chicken, rhubarb in a refreshing summer drink, bacon grease as the popping medium for popcorn.

Leaving just enough dust on the bookcase shelves and a cobweb or two in the corner to make me feel like a normal housekeeper.

Cutting the butter into a quilt pattern shape. I noticed that artistic touch, and liked it very much.

Asking us about the hard parts of our life journey, and then crying along with us when we shared them. It was also healing to share laughter with you in the same conversation.

Using your antique and heirloom dishes on the table as if they were Corelle, simply because you believe these family treasures are to be used and enjoyed on special occasions rather than to languish in a cupboard prison. I felt honored that you took the risk of their possible breakage to include me in the handling of your valuable keepsakes.

Showing me ultimate compassion as a hostess. When I was mortified at my youngster puking on your kitchen floor, you got down on your hands and knees to help me clean up the mess.

Taking us on a stroll around your property, a meander through your garden, a tour of your business; for showing us your latest project. I didn’t count that as bragging at all; your interest and passion in your work and hobbies was truly inspiring.

Allowing me to help you in the kitchen but sometimes insisting that I sit on a stool and just talk to you while you work.

Pointing out your washer and dryer for our use – that time we stayed with you awhile – and for setting up the iron and ironing board.

Placing those candies beside the personal welcome note on the nightstand in your guest room. They were a nice gesture.

Giving us such a good time at the all-day gathering of friends and their families at your place, and then fortifying us with hot drinks in to-go cups with lids and snack bags of salties for the two-hour ride home after dark.

Cleaning up after us when we were gone, washing dishes and the boatload of towels and bed linens, putting away the toys and games that our children played with into their right spots again…I sincerely hope you got some time to put your feet up before tackling all of that.

Do you know what is most outstanding about your hospitality? You were yourself with us. That is the very best gift of all. Thank you!

Have you ever received five-star hospitality? What about it impressed you the most?

This Post's Quotable:

My mom and dad related to us an incident they observed at a restaurant when a lady at a table close to theirs began to choke on her food. They heard her wheezing in her struggle for air and watched while several people nearby tried the Heimlich maneuver on her. An attempt by a third bystander dislodged the offending morsel from the choking lady’s throat. While feeling relief at this point in the story, we just hooted with laughter when my dad commented on the probable results of the rescuers being none too gentle in their Heimlich attempts on the woman’s chest. Perhaps Dad’s being well-versed in scripture played into his mistake in word choice: “I would guess that lady had some bruised reeds!”

This Post's Childhood Memory:

I remember my mom’s pineapple upside-down cake. She didn’t make it very often, but how we loved it when she did. From the beautiful red cherry-centered sweet and tart pineapple rings nestled in the buttery brown-sugary syrupy layer on top to the beautiful golden tender cakey layer on the bottom, it was a warm and comforting delight. I could never figure out, though, Mom’s timing in making it. She always seemed to produce the treat right when I had a canker sore on my tongue. The acid from the pineapple really stung the sore in my mouth, and I’d have to decide whether to endure the pain to gain the pleasure or to forego the delicious baking until the next time Mom made pineapple upside-down cake. Just maybe I wouldn’t have a canker sore then!