Post #2 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (Second Decade)

 

Last month I began a 60th Birthday series by posting photos of me with people I met during the first decade of my life, along with some descriptions of ways they influenced me. Here is the second installment of my reflections on those who helped shape me; this post spans my life's second decade, most of which I spent as a teen.

Second Decade: 1976-1985, ages 11 to 20 years old

My brother Troy Schrock

Troy's coming into our family brought me the excitement of being an 11-year-old big sister. As he grew up, he astounded me with his quick learning (he started walking when he was 9 months old), amused me with his funny sayings and later his witty remarks and puns, and annoyed me with his untidy ways. If I had known back then how inventive he would become, what wisdom he would gain, and how inspiring it would be to have discussions with him on philosophical and spiritual topics, I likely would have offered him more grace. I appreciate, and am still learning from, his example of having a calm and matter-of-fact approach to life. 

My sister Faye Schrock Eby

Faye displayed tenaciousness from the very beginning of her life. Early on, she got me going in lessons of prayer over the health and development of preemie babies, since she came ten weeks before her due date. (Many years later the practice would revive when my twin granddaughters came eleven weeks early.) Over the years, my youngest sister has showed me that spunk and expressiveness can add such color to life. She has also demonstrated in the most delightful way that an age gap of sixteen years can eventually shrink into oblivion as sister-bonding strengthens. These days, video chats with us three sisters are comedy, empathy, and serendipity all wrapped into one joy-filled gift of time.

Church School classmates and teachers

I didn't realize it then, but the visionaries and practical workers in my church who got Northwoods Mennonite School going in the 1970's were key people to place rebar in the foundation of my Christian education. My teachers followed, a line of mostly young women who, in spite of the rapid turnover of teachers from year to year in that era (only one of them broke the record by teaching two years in a row at our school), made an impression on me with their various methods of educating. Most outstanding were the ones whose love of teaching was the spark that lit my own passion for teaching. (The two-year teacher also fanned its flame by giving me teacher apprenticeship opportunities.) 

My classmates helped to make school a place I wanted to be. They shared with me the love of learning, taught me that young students can be both annoying and charming, increased my delight in collective imagination during art class or creative play at recess, and posed a challenge of loyalty. Will I listen to Mom & Dad and wear my rubber boots at recess even on a sunny day in spring or be swayed by my teammates' pleas for me to ditch the clunky footwear so I can run to first base faster when it's my turn to kick in a game of Kickball? And, although some of the girl classmates pulled me into more relationship drama than I wished to experience, they provided me with lifelong friendship material. 

Northwoods Youth Group and youth leaders/sponsors

We had a small youth group when I was growing up, but it was large enough to make a significant impact on me in my late teens and early twenties. There's something about sharing experiences with young peers, from the lighter fare of daffy and mystery suppers to the more serious times of discussing scripture, that expands one's world and deepens roots of beliefs and values. I attribute my spiritual growth over this time, at least in part, to the youth leaders (we called them youth sponsors) of our group, too. Their genuine interest in me made a huge and positive impression. 

My youth group also helped me hone my skills in music. I learned more about sight singing, and about teamwork in choral music when surrounded by my youth group and some older church members as Northwoods Chorus prepared to go on its first-ever choir tour. "Making a tape" with my twin and Monica, our good friend from the youth group, taught me lessons in faithfulness as we met for practice sessions, and perseverance as we slogged our way through the disppointment of needing to redo the recording session (to block out road noise from outside the studio that managed to invade our first cassette). 

Employers and guests

Employment by neighbors and acquaintances in the Round Lake Peninsula vicinity offered valuable lessons in the work world. For instance, a job at Harry's Berries taught me precision while feeding strawberry shoots hairy with roots into the rubber cups of the planter's wheel, endurance while snipping blossoms or hoeing weeds in the long berry rows under a hot sun, and bravery when instructed to wield my hoe for squishing the grubs found in the soil under wilted strawberry plants. 

While working for people in our community, not only did I gain experience in earning and managing money; I also learned household tips (or hacks, as they are called nowadays) and got to see first-hand how unique and interesting employers can be. Recalling days of working (usually with my twin) at cleaning cabins, making beds at a resort, babysitting, raking leaves, and painting stirs up memories of certain individuals - Elsa squinting at me through her thick eyeglasses and declaring (in her strong German accent) that I couldn't have dusted everything properly in that amount of time, short Betty J hunched up over the car's steering wheel as she drove and alternately creeping along or gunning it on our way to a cleaning job, and Mercedes (no, not Benz) marching from cabin to cabin and scrubbing kitchen sinks with the energy and enthusiasm of someone half her age.  

I also was shaped by my parents' practice of inviting community folk into our home for meals and into our lives for friendship. Whether they were neighbors, long-time or new acquaintances of Mom and Dad, customers of Mom's garden produce, or employers and patrons in Dad's carpenter business, they entered our family's world and brightened it. 

Maranatha Bible School

The time I spent at Bible School (altogether, parts of seven consecutive years) was a very formative experience in my journey toward adulthood. Interacting with the students expanded my social circles and knowledge of social ettiquette. Because of MBSers, I lost some of my shyness and gained more confidence. (I hope) Some among the group who were mere acquaintances at the start went on to become life-long friends, and in some cases, part of my second family. During some terms, a bonus was having other twin pairs around to relate to. The classes I took whetted my appetite for studying the scriptures, and discussing practical aspects of Christian living. I had some teachers that made such a positive impression on me that to this day I want to read their stuff, listen to their messages, and talk to them in person when I get a chance.   

Happy Hollow School

Moving to Arkansas and living in a Happy Hollow as a teacher for two school years helped to prepare me for adapting to life in a new community later on after I was married. Ora & Edna Mae and their daughter Marcile, my co-teacher, provided an example of gracious hosts as they eased a rather timid and quite homesick 19-year-old into their family, church, school, and community culture. New experiences and challenges abounded in my first years of teaching; I benefitted from needing to grow my courage and confidence. Joining a local youth group in their ministry and social activities, and later, singing in a choir composed of young adults from three different churches, offered pleasant diversion from teaching and gave me a place of belonging. Since the time I spent living in that down-home mountain hollow, I have kept a warm place in my heart for folksy people, certain phrases spoken in a southern drawl, dulcimer music, and idyllic scenes such as dogwoods and redbuds overhanging creeks running under low-water bridges. 

Grandma Verda Smeltzer Schrock

Some years after Grandma Schrock died from cancer, Grandpa Schrock got married to an older single lady named Verda, introducing me to the concept of welcoming step-people into the family. (also to the interesting phenomenon of old people getting sweet on each other) Grandma Verda was a great example of faithfulness in domestics, washing dishes vigorously and ironing religiously as she did. And generosity seem to ooze out her pores. I know that when I make food for twice as many guests as are around my table but still urge them to "Here, have some more", Grandma's hospitality features have rubbed off on me. I still have some handwritten letters from her, showcasing the fact that to enliven one's missives, you can never use too many! exclamation! marks! “We certainly don’t deserve all of His love! and yet He delights in His children to love and serve Him!... Thank you for coming so far to attend our tenth anniversary!... If in my old age, my mind ever begins to wander to the point of slow return like hers did, I hope I can be as sweet about it as she was.

KEN!

Ever since he was my Bible School buddy who then became my boyfriend, and then became my husband, Ken has taught me so much about steadfastness in many areas of life. Early on in our friendship I noticed his commitment to God, his love of children and the value he placed on family. I was impressed with his dedication to pursuing his relationship with me through the many miles (and another country) that separated us, mail delays, a mom who kept the brakes on as much as she dared, teasing from my brothers and others, my doubts and my determination to do things exactly right, (already back then our rule-upholder and rule-questioner tendencies showed up in contrasting measure) and the focus I placed on my school-teaching responsibilities. 

Ken, a.k.a. Mr. Optimistic, has been a helpful counter-balance to my pessimism, and I appreciate what he's taught me about living life even-keeled. The blessed thing about my marriage to him is that, even though we're both 60 now, he's still helping to shape who I am becoming.   

Post #1 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (First Decade)

I turned 60 last week. On the approach of this milestone birthday and since, I've been thinking a lot about how I got here. How I came to be the person I am today. I believe I owe it to God, of course; it is in Him that I "live and move and have my being", as it says in Acts 17:28. But I am also indebted to the individuals He has placed in my life. So many people have influenced me in one way or another over the years. It's a delight to ponder this special group of contributors and their contributions. 

I've decided to do a blog series that documents some of my reflections as I consider this journey one decade at a time. Perhaps you will find yourself in one or more of the categories in the different decades, and if not, please know that I'm including you anyway. After all, I wouldn't be a blogger if it weren't for the people who actually read my stuff, so there you go. Thank you for your part in helping to shape me into who I am, as of June 14, 2025: Danette Martin, a brand-new sixty-year-old! 

First Decade: 1965-1975, ages newborn to 10 years old

My mom, Eva Kauffman Schrock 

Not only did Mom do her part in shaping me physically, she helped to build my character, and was a strong part of my spiritual formation in those early years. Because of her, I have freckles, I do household chores with precision, I inherited a propensity for getting into a giggle fit at inappropriate times, I talk to God about things as big as world leaders and as small as a lost toy, I get grouchy upon spending too much money, I love teaching, and my heart goes out to suffering creatures, human or otherwise. 

My dad, Daniel Schrock

He's the reason I am particular about doing things right even if it takes a long time. He's deepened my passion for words and The Word, for close family relationships, for good music, for creativity in photography, for learning new things, for taking an interest in people and remembering their names. Because of his example as a father who not only expected obedience but also offered much understanding, acceptance, and affection, (and still does, to this day) my concept of God takes on a similar shape. 

My twin sister, Annette Schrock Bechtel 

She's the one who taught me the joy of togetherness by living it with me as my look-alike in facial features, many expressions and actions, and dress (for the first sixteen or so years of our lives, anyway). With her as my co-experiencer of life in a myriad of ways, I learned to be as companionable and compassionate (hopefully) as I am competitive. Without her example, it wouldn't be as easy for me to be grateful, organized, discerning, and encouraging. I also wouldn't be so apt to hoot with laughter and get teary in the same minute during a phone call, to get a cold sore the same week she does, to buy her the same card or give her the same type of birthday gift as the one she gives me.

My brothers Todd Schrock and Tim Schrock 

As we were growing up, they gave me plenty of opportunity to hone my childcare skills, although they would give the talent a different title, such as Biggest Boss of Brothers, perhaps. While I appreciate their help in developing my ability to take teasing, I can thank them even more for forming my idea of brotherhood by their partnership in creative play, comradeship in work projects, and their fellowship around tables and in vehicles. (How many children can fit, a.k.a. squeeze/cram/squish, into one car on a school run?) By the value they place on staying connected with family, they continue to enrich my life and shape my sense of worth.

Grandpa LeRoy and Grandma Anna Schrock 

(L to R behind us twins in the photo: Grandpa Kauffmans, Great-grandpa Levi Schrock, Grandpa Schrocks) 

Grandpa Schrocks instilled in me the importance of church by their example of being there on time, sitting up front, Grandpa sharing a story (through tears) during testimony time and heartily joining in the singing (especially A Wonderful Savior is Jesus My Lord), and Grandma willingly and thoroughly cleaning the church building during the week. They influenced me through their generosity at home, too, sharing popcorn and pink peppermints, fun toys like Fisher Price little people and fun music such as the Medical Mission Sisters and Harmony Three on vinyl records, and speaking words of admonition and encouragement. 

Grandpa Andrew and Grandma Aletha Kauffman 

Grandpa Kauffmans, through no real intention on their part, gave me the experience of having one set of grandparents living far enough away to warrant a trip to get there, and often staying over a few nights. Visiting them taught me a love of country life, as well as pushed me into learning new things, what with opportunities to play by the creek, hike in the river bottoms, fish with a bamboo pole, mix up a pretend "stew" with field corn kernels and tiny pinecones, gather asparagus from the garden (and later try to choke down the compulsory bite or two of it, cooked) and pad barefoot through the straw (and squishy bits of chicken poop) in the hen house to gather fresh-laid eggs. I also watched Grandpa Kauffmans interact with neighbors and community people, which showed me what sharing Jesus' love with others looks like.

Other Relatives 

Uncles and aunts, especially the ones that weren't married yet or were newly married and not quite so involved with raising my cousins, became my heroes as they paid attention to me, inviting me into conversation, games, walks, or even - wonder of wonders - a road trip with them! Some of them taught me how to do new, frightening things like striking a match to light the fire on the trash in the burn barrel, and some were kind of scary (but kind of sounding just like mom) when they made threats like, "If anybody walks in that muddy garden one more time, they're going to get it!" But they sure produced some fun cousins to admire, make forts with in the snow, play rousing outdoor games with, and later, to confide in, attend Bible School with, and eventually compare parenting/grandparenting notes with.  

Church People 

I look back on the small group of people that comprised my church community, and feel so blessed to have had their influence in my life. Some left a posititve impression on me by the way they taught the Sunday School and Summer Bible School classes I attended, or had a memorable "children's class" in a Sunday evening service. Some led the singing engagingly, or interacted meaningfully with us children in the audience during a devotional at church. The informal times in their homes had an impact, too. Whether it was sharing their actually-too-big-for-me bike for riding on their amazing trails in the woods, delicious homemade food at sewing circle, a nut-cracking bee - a social event for all ages, or singing at the local nursing home, they gave me the joy of belonging. 

Schoolmates in Public School 

Although they only had one year to do it, my teachers and classmates at Hayward School helped to shape my views on education and the experience of learning in community. Because of them, I believe that Grade One teachers should have the gentleness and patience of Miss Bowman, that assistant teachers can foster learning by rousing curiosity and excitement (such as having students guess what you're shaking in a tin can and allowing each student to have one of the candies after you've disclosed that it's lemon drops rattling around in there), that girl drama happens early in school life but it can and usually does resolve at some point, and that first-grade boys, although popular opinion might lead you to believe otherwise, can be quite charming. 

Neighbors 

In my young life, our neighbors provided hospitality, entertainment, and wonder. They helped to expand my knowledge and to shape my sense of community. Because of them, I learned that there are different languages in the world, a variety of ethnic dishes, and there are various ways of adding humor to one's life. The Frys and Sperlings, the Phillips and Leffingwell (sp?) families, the Smiths and Dietz's, the Cormacks and Hamblins and Froemels, and so many more, all contributed something to our lives by being themselves and sharing their particular interests and abilities. I'm sure that our Northwoods Beach neighbors Earl and Grace had no idea that they inspired in me a lifelong love of word games when they introduced to our family the newest sensation in word-lover circles, a fascinating board game called Scrabble.  

Answering Multiple Questions (The Long and the Short of It)

For those of you who haven’t heard how things are multiplying around here, I’m here to tell you. Perhaps you could approach the following exchange as the interview you didn’t know you wanted to have.

For those of you who have already heard the news, and have been itching to ask more questions, I am here to answer. Perhaps this post will be the interview you’ve definitely been wanting to have and didn’t know exactly how to go about it.

For those of you who know how wordy I can be when answering questions, and for that reason have been avoiding even asking them, I am here to reassure you. Perhaps this series, with its options for both long and short answers, will be the interview you’ve been wanting to be able to handle.  

What's new in your family life? 

Short: We're expecting!

Long: We're expecting FIVE grandbabies - from only two families of the Kenites Tribe! Our son Rolin and his wife Joy are expecting triplets and our daughter Kayleen and her husband Carlin are looking forward to having twins. 

When are these grandchildren due?

Short: Next year. 

Long: Next year, and within the first four months of 2023, the Lord willing. Joy's due date is March 1, and Kayleen's twins are expected about 5 weeks later, in April. However, the more babies sharing the womb, the less chance they will be carried to full term. (Not only is it the more, the merrier; it is the more, the earlier, I guess) The typical gestation period for twins is 36-37 weeks, and for triplets the average is only 33 weeks.

How did the parents-to-be announce the news to you?

Short: Ultrasound pics.

Long: Ultrasound pics on our family's WhatsApp chat. For the triplets, Rolin and Joy messaged their news to the Kenites on the day that Joy’s ultrasound appointment revealed three babies. The first post was simply a photo, an ultrasound image of a single baby. Five minutes later, a second ultrasound pic arrived on the chat, this time along with a “Baby B” title on the print. In answer to the resulting curious responses from our family, Joy confirmed that, yes, that first pic sent was Baby A, so there were indeed two babies. Incredible! But then, five minutes later, we received the third ultrasound pic, titled “Baby C”, along with the caption “Rolin says we hit a triple”. Incredulosity x three!!! Several months later we received the welcome news that Kayleen and Carlin were expecting a baby, too – their first. When she had an ultrasound a couple of weeks following that announcement, Kayleen posted a single photo on our family’s WhatsApp chat. It was an ultrasound pic with Baby A and Baby B on it. Definitely double take material!!

How did you feel when you heard the news?

Short: Delighted.

Long: Delighted and overwhelmed. The triplets announcement was a lot to take in all at once, even if the news came in 5-minute intervals. My emotions rollercoasted through whoops, tears, and laughter. Then came the thought of many changes this would mean for Rolins – they’d have to get a bigger vehicle, a larger dwelling, a greater stash of baby equipment, a longer list of helpers... On the heels of that came the worry about the possible complications with carrying and birthing multiples. But oh, how exciting to think of getting three new grandchildren at once! I couldn’t get done smiling. Then Kayleen and Carlin sent us the pic of their unborn twins and my first impression was disbelief. I thought they must have somehow rigged the ultrasound photo with the appearance of two titles. Now I think “How could I?” but right then it was like, “How can this be happening in one family?” (Sorry, Carlins) After it finally sank in that for real there were twins coming, too, I couldn’t keep my heart from overflowing in the form of happy tears. Because I am a twin, I have long been fascinated with all things twin. Because I have had/keep having such a positive experience being a twin, I have long dreamed of either having twins myself (Ken could tell you his relief that we didn’t) or being closely related to someone having them. And now, my own daughter expecting twins…well, that was just a bit much – in a good way. My laughter may or may not have had some Sarah-echoes behind my tent flap.

Do you know the genders of the babies?

Short: Yes and no.

Long: Yes to the triplets and no to the twins. Rolin and Joy are having one girl and two boys. Kayleen and Carlin know that their twins are identical, (so, same gender) but they don’t know yet if they’re having two boys or two girls. They may decide to continue anticipating the surprise by waiting until the birth to find out. 

Have you been learning anything new about expecting multiples?

Short: Yes.

Long: Yes, more than I ever wanted to know about the risky business. I have learned that a mom carrying three babies might require a surgery called cerclage, which is a fancy name (especially said in a Parisian manner, like sir-clahzh) for a drawstring-type stitch that helps strengthen a weakening cervix. Ideally, this will allow the babies to stay safely inside for longer than they might otherwise do. I have learned that identical twins have different ways of being arranged in utero, and if they are something called mono/di, it means they are a lot more susceptible to a disease of the placenta called Twin-Twin Transfusion Syndrome, or TTTS for short. I have learned that TTTS can develop very quickly – in the space of a mere week or two. When that happens, one twin gets too much blood and the other twin doesn’t get enough, which can end up being life-threatening to both babies. I have learned about a laser surgery, nicknamed the Solomon Procedure, which can be performed to seal off the blood vessels on the surface of the shared placenta that are responsible for TTTS. Ideally, this treatment, if successful, will allow the twins to each get their own healthy dose of nutrients via the blood. I have learned that hearing about such hopeful possibilities for both babies to thrive after all can bring untold relief and gratitude to family members.

What has God been teaching you so far through this experience? 

Short: Trust

Long: Trust in the Maker and Sustainer of Life. I said at the beginning, just after finding out about the triplets, that I am holding this gift of coming grandchildren with an open hand. I wish to maintain such an attitude even while acknowledging that there is no guarantee these five tiny babies will all arrive safely and without any challenges. I’m finding, though, that the open hand concept is getting harder to implement with these growing grandbabies, the more time I have to anticipate and dream of all the grandma things I want to do with them and ways I want to be for them. Recently I found a keeper quote by Gina Brenna Butz, who expressed it well when she wrote, “God asks us to loosen our grip on life and in the process our hearts will open to something new. He invites us to…bring an attitude of hope, presenting our requests while trusting Him with the outcome. We put our hope not in the end result, but in God.” Yes, as I continue looking forward to meeting five new grandbabies in the coming months, God invites me to lean more often and more confidently on Him.

Best Place to be on Family Day - Really?

I was thinking, as we drove to our neighbor Brian's funeral on the third Monday in February, that I can think of far better and happier things to do on Family Day. I also thought about his family and how they must be feeling the same sentiment, only ten times more deeply than I was. And how, on every Family Day in years to come, they will deal with an associative pang of remembering that on Family Day in 2022 they had to do what no family ever wishes to do on any day of the year - bury their husband and father. 

That's why I was rather startled to hear the first speaker at the funeral service confidently announce to the assembled mourners that we were in the best place to be on Family Day. He went on to agree with the writer of Ecclesiastes that it is better to come to the house of mourning than the house of feasting. His reasoning, along with Solomon's, was that we learn more from the first event than the latter.

"Family should be together," he said, "and there's no moment like this for being together." 

"Yeah, right," said one side of my heart, while the other side listened to the minister explaining what he meant. To him, family included those bound to each other with flesh and blood ties as well as those knit together in Christ's love - family in the faith. All of us present at the memorial service had been connected to Brian in some way. Our togetherness - our familyness - at that moment could aid in us building each other up and in comforting those who were mourning the loss of Brian most. 

Together - the best way to be on Family Day. "Hmm," I thought at the time, "maybe..."

But now, as I reflect on the funeral two weeks later, I more confidently affirm it: Together is a very beneficial way to be on Family Day, even if it has to be at a funeral. In the house of mourning, the “family” of Brian was drawn together in a number of ways:

Together in learning...

…from the words of scripture. Listening to familiar passages such as “they are like grass” and “it is soon cut off and we fly away” with a loved one’s casket in view gives clearer perspective on the brevity of life. Somehow, at a funeral, more heart goes into the words that follow: “teach us to number our days” and “apply our hearts unto wisdom”.

…from stories told about Brian. One thing that was pointed out numerous times was Brian's example of faithful endurance. Did he think suffering from a rare lung disease for half his life was unfair? Yes. Did he ever complain about it? No! As his body deteriorated to the point of needing a double lung transplant (almost a decade ago), he realized with more clarity his dependence on something, or Someone, outside himself in order to live fully. Brian counted the ten “extra” of his 55 years as a gift from his Creator and he lived them gratefully.

… from the funeral message. There was much I learned from listening to the pastor’s thoughtful and clear presentation of the Gospel. His notable way of explaining eternal life was “Brian lived the preface, and is now beginning real life.” In Christ, he lived free from the punishment of sin and from the power of sin, and now, in the presence of Christ, Brian is free from the presence of sin.

Together in remembering...

…I felt like I got to know Brian better through the things people shared about him at the funeral. His siblings, children, and friends described his quirky habits, told funny incidents involving him, and related stories that illustrated his character. His twin brother Brent told one such story. He explained that in the weeks leading up to Brian’s lung transplant, Brian’s condition was so serious that he needed to be on oxygen 24/7. During that period of time, Brian was riding somewhere with Brent. Some minutes into the car ride, Brent looked over and noticed that Brian had passed out. Brent quickly pulled over, stopped the vehicle, and cranked Brian’s oxygen as high as it would go. He was about to call 9-1-1 when Brian came to. After taking a few deep breaths, Brian's first words to his brother were “You didn't have to stop!” Brent told us that that was so Brian – not wanting to bother anyone or have his condition hinder anybody’s forward progress.  

…these Brian stories invited a togetherness in sharing a mixture of emotions. Tears of both joy and sadness mingled as we shared our humanity in this way. Members of the human family we were, members of Brian’s “family” in particular, gathered to offer memories of him to each other. In a sense, this was a re-member-ing of Brian and our doing so brought a healing balm.

Together in grieving...

…I’d guess the mourners gathered at Brian’s funeral were experiencing various depths of grief, if grief can be measured as such. Our acceptance into the gathering that day did not hinge on our level of connection to Brian, nor on the ways in which we’ll miss him. Everyone was welcome – his wife, who lived with him in marriage for 30-plus years, along with his mother, who knew Brian the longest of anyone among us, his children, losing a father way too soon and at the same time grieving the loss of dreams they had for their children to know Grandpa Brian, his other relatives who could tell you countless stories of their interactions with him over the years, church family members, co-workers (like Ken) at Martin’s Family Fruit Farm, community folks and neighbors (like me) and many other people whose lives Brian had touched in some way with his friendliness and compassion.

…all of us that day had something in common – we came to the funeral bearing loss. No wonder it was a teary occasion. Besides our grief at Brian’s passing, we brought memories of other losses. Someone once said that funerals are so sad because they are a collection of all the griefs we've ever known. Is there any clearer, more poignant picture of griefshare?

Together in comforting...

…togetherness is said to multiply joys and divide sorrow. But the adding of sorrows can also multiply the comfort. In a strange way, our gathering together as grievers had just as much potential for the offering of comfort as the sharing of sorrow. To me, the distinct lines of beginning and ending of either is inexplicable; it is a mystery of mingling.   

…I have known that grief is a mystery. One can never be sure when it will show up, what its intensity level will be, or when it will leave. Yes, grief brings surprises but so does comfort. I had one such surprise when we went through the receiving line of relatives at Brian’s viewing. I had come thinking we’d express our sympathy to them; it had never dawned on me that we would leave comforted by them. As we offered our condolences to Brian’s twin and his wife, they said to us, “You know what this is all about – losing a brother”, referring to the sudden deaths of Ken’s brother and his wife two decades ago. When we shook hands with Brian’s children and their spouses, one of the daughters-in-law referred to Ken’s loss of a close friend and co-worker in the passing of her father-in-law. It occurred to me then that Ken has known Brian a lot longer than she has. How sweet of her to mention another’s grief while processing her own. Brian’s widow, Ann, also spoke to us through her tears about our experiences of the deaths of close family members and I was touched by her thinking beyond her own loss to acknowledge ours. I hope the family felt strengthened by being able to reciprocate sympathy with those coming to the viewing and funeral; I know I was truly blessed to receive their comfort.

Together in hoping...

…we mourners clustered in the cemetery after the funeral, wishing to pay our last respects to Brian by attending the burial of his body. I much prefer to think of the graveside service as us gathering together to “plant Brian” – his body a shriveled dry seed lowered into the cold earth and waiting. Waiting to blossom forth in glorious vibrant life and color come Resurrection Spring. In the future, I hope when Brian’s loved ones think back to his funeral, they also remember the togetherness of this act of planting on Family Day.  

…as the pastor reminded us in his meaningful talk at the burial, faith is required at an open grave like it is needed in few other places. There, it seems that all of Creation is sighing and groaning (or is it screaming?) in its brokenness. Our present reality at the grave of a loved one would have it that this is the end. It takes a trusting faith in God, then, to keep living as though the reality is His Word on the matter.

…I like to think that we were “planting Brian” in faith; that we were a family of believers collectively circling his burial spot in solidarity of hope that death does not get the last word. Love does. And at the end of time Love will bring us all together, never to be separated again. That will be some Family Day!

Dani's Discovery Tours via Photos #3: Encountering the Ark

Having already given two tours - one about church camping and one about cake building - in this series, I offer my third Discovery Tour: a blog post about the Ark and about the Half Tribe of Manasseh, I mean Dan. It is mainly a host of photos depicting a quick trip that Ken and I took to Kentucky several weeks ago. When we heard that my parents and my twin sister and her family were planning to spend a few days visiting the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum together, we wondered if could come and crash their party. Then my other sister and her family decided to come, too. It was a lovely rendezvous! 

When you get to the Ark, the first thing you have to do is to take a picture of the whole structure, just because you are so amazed at its monstrosity. I thought it was timely that storm clouds were rolling in when we arrived - it went right along with my association of Noah's Ark and an urgency to get on board because the rain's a-comin'! 

 

The second thing you have to do when you get to the Ark is to take family photos with the big boat as background. Here's my twin sister Annette's family, and I'll add names right now in case anyone asks me for them later and I'll wish to be able to say "been there, done that". Back row, l to r: Jeremy, Justin, Nolan; front row, l to r: Jana, Nolita, Joelle, Heidi, Annette

Dan & Ruthie, aka Dad & Mom Schrock

Ken & Danette, aka Us2

My sister Faye and her family were not with our group when we arrived at the Ark, so they weren't in the initial family photos line-up. I will introduce them here, in two photos. (I still don't know how I missed getting a pose of them all together!) In this shot, Faye is holding her third-oldest daughter, Jewel.

And here is Faye's husband Leroy, whom we often call Lee, holding Hope, their youngest daughter. In the middle chair is Becca, the oldest, and Kate is the one on the far left. (anyone else think there's some Eva in that face?) 

From stem...

...to stern, this craft is huge!

Before entering the Ark, we walked up close to its underside, which made us feel rather dwarfed.

Inside, one of the first areas to observe is the back structure, where great beams curve to form the rounded stern.

Provisions for the animals on the Ark: sacks and sacks of grain...

...as well as pots and pots of water.

I found it very fascinating to observe the "ways it may have been" in the keeping of all those animals on Noah's Ark. Here is an example: water dispensers on the outsides of the cages. Water from the aforementioned pots would have been poured into the top of the dispenser and would have flowed out through the bottom opening into the water bowl the animal could access from inside the cage.

I must say, the creatures themselves were quite unique, too!

The massive logs and wooden beams required some massive bolts and hardware.

All throughout the three-story Ark were illustrations and descriptions to read and observe. It would've required much more time than we had to be able to take it all in!

There was even an animated Noah who would answer the questions that visitors would ask him (by typing on a computer). The way Noah turned his head and fixed his eyes on the inquirers and how he talked was eerily similar to real life.

I was so intrigued with the names, characteristics and personalities the Ark designers (using artistic license) gave to Noah's wife and his three sons' wives. Japheth and his wife Reynah were portrayed as the artistic and musical couple.

Here is Shem's wife, Ar'yel, working in the kitchen. She was portrayed as an intellectual and relational woman who enjoyed discussions with Noah's family about the one true God.
By the way, Ham's wife was called Kezia and she was a woman with medical knowledge. She was the nurse on the Ark - for the people and for the animals. Noah's wife was called Emzara; she was portrayed as an animal-lover. She knew more about the animals than anyone else on the Ark.

A cross lights up the door of the Ark, both on the inside and the outside.

Reflecting on our Ark Encounter. 

Ken loved interacting with his little nieces. Here he's playing Peek-Around-the-Post with Jewel and Kate after our supper in Emzara's Buffet at the Ark Encounter.

The next day we visited The Creation Museum, which - after being at Ark Encounter - seemed a little anti-climatic. This was probably due to the fact that we had visited the Creation Museum before. Besides the things we'd previously seen and done there, informative workshops, interesting creation videos, a fun picnic time with the family, and strolling on the beautiful grounds surrounding the property really did add up to a great experience, though. 

For me, one of the highlights of the day was attending a wonderful workshop entitled "Life is in the Blood." Annette went with me, and we had fun trying out the microscope, exclaiming to each other about our finds in blood cells on the slide. In the Q & A time at the end of the workshop, I was about to lean over to tell Anni that we should ask the instructor how alike the blood of twins is, when she turned to me and said that we should ask him that same question. We never did get a chance to ask, because the workshop time ran out, but we had one thing proved once again: we still have our twin moments. Maybe our blood doesn't flow exactly alike, but our ideas often flow along similar veins!

Sister-pics in one generation...

...and in another.

(Such a gift - to be with these wonderful ladies)

My bro-in-law Nolan (the one my brothers tease about having "connections") lined up a beautiful old house (c. 1832!) for our accommodations the nights that we were in the Ark vicinity. 

I felt like we were in a cross between a storybook house and a museum. It was spacious and just gorgeous!

The second evening we were there, we had an enjoyable, relaxing time outside exploring the grounds and visiting on the patio and at the lawn swing.

Don't they look sweet together, though?

I happened to get a pic of my niece Becca when she was uncharacteristically still. Or maybe it was merely a time when she had sought out a place by some adults on the swing as refuge from Uncle Ken who was chasing her. She acted sort of scared, but her mom told me that really, Becca was loving it - for her, the more action in a game, the better. Racing around the yard with Uncle Ken roaring at her heels was the best.

I love this pic of my dad, but I love the man so much more.

Nolan and Anni's family was in charge of breakfast on the last morning we were together, and true to form, they rustled up a feast for us. Their family is one of the best examples I know for cooperation, efficiency and generosity. In this world, there oughta be lots more like them.

If you've been considering going to the Ark, I have some advice for you: Go for it.
And, if at all possible, encounter it with some great relatives.