Post #2 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (Second Decade)

 

Last month I began a 60th Birthday series by posting photos of me with people I met during the first decade of my life, along with some descriptions of ways they influenced me. Here is the second installment of my reflections on those who helped shape me; this post spans my life's second decade, most of which I spent as a teen.

Second Decade: 1976-1985, ages 11 to 20 years old

My brother Troy Schrock

Troy's coming into our family brought me the excitement of being an 11-year-old big sister. As he grew up, he astounded me with his quick learning (he started walking when he was 9 months old), amused me with his funny sayings and later his witty remarks and puns, and annoyed me with his untidy ways. If I had known back then how inventive he would become, what wisdom he would gain, and how inspiring it would be to have discussions with him on philosophical and spiritual topics, I likely would have offered him more grace. I appreciate, and am still learning from, his example of having a calm and matter-of-fact approach to life. 

My sister Faye Schrock Eby

Faye displayed tenaciousness from the very beginning of her life. Early on, she got me going in lessons of prayer over the health and development of preemie babies, since she came ten weeks before her due date. (Many years later the practice would revive when my twin granddaughters came eleven weeks early.) Over the years, my youngest sister has showed me that spunk and expressiveness can add such color to life. She has also demonstrated in the most delightful way that an age gap of sixteen years can eventually shrink into oblivion as sister-bonding strengthens. These days, video chats with us three sisters are comedy, empathy, and serendipity all wrapped into one joy-filled gift of time.

Church School classmates and teachers

I didn't realize it then, but the visionaries and practical workers in my church who got Northwoods Mennonite School going in the 1970's were key people to place rebar in the foundation of my Christian education. My teachers followed, a line of mostly young women who, in spite of the rapid turnover of teachers from year to year in that era (only one of them broke the record by teaching two years in a row at our school), made an impression on me with their various methods of educating. Most outstanding were the ones whose love of teaching was the spark that lit my own passion for teaching. (The two-year teacher also fanned its flame by giving me teacher apprenticeship opportunities.) 

My classmates helped to make school a place I wanted to be. They shared with me the love of learning, taught me that young students can be both annoying and charming, increased my delight in collective imagination during art class or creative play at recess, and posed a challenge of loyalty. Will I listen to Mom & Dad and wear my rubber boots at recess even on a sunny day in spring or be swayed by my teammates' pleas for me to ditch the clunky footwear so I can run to first base faster when it's my turn to kick in a game of Kickball? And, although some of the girl classmates pulled me into more relationship drama than I wished to experience, they provided me with lifelong friendship material. 

Northwoods Youth Group and youth leaders/sponsors

We had a small youth group when I was growing up, but it was large enough to make a significant impact on me in my late teens and early twenties. There's something about sharing experiences with young peers, from the lighter fare of daffy and mystery suppers to the more serious times of discussing scripture, that expands one's world and deepens roots of beliefs and values. I attribute my spiritual growth over this time, at least in part, to the youth leaders (we called them youth sponsors) of our group, too. Their genuine interest in me made a huge and positive impression. 

My youth group also helped me hone my skills in music. I learned more about sight singing, and about teamwork in choral music when surrounded by my youth group and some older church members as Northwoods Chorus prepared to go on its first-ever choir tour. "Making a tape" with my twin and Monica, our good friend from the youth group, taught me lessons in faithfulness as we met for practice sessions, and perseverance as we slogged our way through the disppointment of needing to redo the recording session (to block out road noise from outside the studio that managed to invade our first cassette). 

Employers and guests

Employment by neighbors and acquaintances in the Round Lake Peninsula vicinity offered valuable lessons in the work world. For instance, a job at Harry's Berries taught me precision while feeding strawberry shoots hairy with roots into the rubber cups of the planter's wheel, endurance while snipping blossoms or hoeing weeds in the long berry rows under a hot sun, and bravery when instructed to wield my hoe for squishing the grubs found in the soil under wilted strawberry plants. 

While working for people in our community, not only did I gain experience in earning and managing money; I also learned household tips (or hacks, as they are called nowadays) and got to see first-hand how unique and interesting employers can be. Recalling days of working (usually with my twin) at cleaning cabins, making beds at a resort, babysitting, raking leaves, and painting stirs up memories of certain individuals - Elsa squinting at me through her thick eyeglasses and declaring (in her strong German accent) that I couldn't have dusted everything properly in that amount of time, short Betty J hunched up over the car's steering wheel as she drove and alternately creeping along or gunning it on our way to a cleaning job, and Mercedes (no, not Benz) marching from cabin to cabin and scrubbing kitchen sinks with the energy and enthusiasm of someone half her age.  

I also was shaped by my parents' practice of inviting community folk into our home for meals and into our lives for friendship. Whether they were neighbors, long-time or new acquaintances of Mom and Dad, customers of Mom's garden produce, or employers and patrons in Dad's carpenter business, they entered our family's world and brightened it. 

Maranatha Bible School

The time I spent at Bible School (altogether, parts of seven consecutive years) was a very formative experience in my journey toward adulthood. Interacting with the students expanded my social circles and knowledge of social ettiquette. Because of MBSers, I lost some of my shyness and gained more confidence. (I hope) Some among the group who were mere acquaintances at the start went on to become life-long friends, and in some cases, part of my second family. During some terms, a bonus was having other twin pairs around to relate to. The classes I took whetted my appetite for studying the scriptures, and discussing practical aspects of Christian living. I had some teachers that made such a positive impression on me that to this day I want to read their stuff, listen to their messages, and talk to them in person when I get a chance.   

Happy Hollow School

Moving to Arkansas and living in a Happy Hollow as a teacher for two school years helped to prepare me for adapting to life in a new community later on after I was married. Ora & Edna Mae and their daughter Marcile, my co-teacher, provided an example of gracious hosts as they eased a rather timid and quite homesick 19-year-old into their family, church, school, and community culture. New experiences and challenges abounded in my first years of teaching; I benefitted from needing to grow my courage and confidence. Joining a local youth group in their ministry and social activities, and later, singing in a choir composed of young adults from three different churches, offered pleasant diversion from teaching and gave me a place of belonging. Since the time I spent living in that down-home mountain hollow, I have kept a warm place in my heart for folksy people, certain phrases spoken in a southern drawl, dulcimer music, and idyllic scenes such as dogwoods and redbuds overhanging creeks running under low-water bridges. 

Grandma Verda Smeltzer Schrock

Some years after Grandma Schrock died from cancer, Grandpa Schrock got married to an older single lady named Verda, introducing me to the concept of welcoming step-people into the family. (also to the interesting phenomenon of old people getting sweet on each other) Grandma Verda was a great example of faithfulness in domestics, washing dishes vigorously and ironing religiously as she did. And generosity seem to ooze out her pores. I know that when I make food for twice as many guests as are around my table but still urge them to "Here, have some more", Grandma's hospitality features have rubbed off on me. I still have some handwritten letters from her, showcasing the fact that to enliven one's missives, you can never use too many! exclamation! marks! “We certainly don’t deserve all of His love! and yet He delights in His children to love and serve Him!... Thank you for coming so far to attend our tenth anniversary!... If in my old age, my mind ever begins to wander to the point of slow return like hers did, I hope I can be as sweet about it as she was.

KEN!

Ever since he was my Bible School buddy who then became my boyfriend, and then became my husband, Ken has taught me so much about steadfastness in many areas of life. Early on in our friendship I noticed his commitment to God, his love of children and the value he placed on family. I was impressed with his dedication to pursuing his relationship with me through the many miles (and another country) that separated us, mail delays, a mom who kept the brakes on as much as she dared, teasing from my brothers and others, my doubts and my determination to do things exactly right, (already back then our rule-upholder and rule-questioner tendencies showed up in contrasting measure) and the focus I placed on my school-teaching responsibilities. 

Ken, a.k.a. Mr. Optimistic, has been a helpful counter-balance to my pessimism, and I appreciate what he's taught me about living life even-keeled. The blessed thing about my marriage to him is that, even though we're both 60 now, he's still helping to shape who I am becoming.   

Post #1 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (First Decade)

I turned 60 last week. On the approach of this milestone birthday and since, I've been thinking a lot about how I got here. How I came to be the person I am today. I believe I owe it to God, of course; it is in Him that I "live and move and have my being", as it says in Acts 17:28. But I am also indebted to the individuals He has placed in my life. So many people have influenced me in one way or another over the years. It's a delight to ponder this special group of contributors and their contributions. 

I've decided to do a blog series that documents some of my reflections as I consider this journey one decade at a time. Perhaps you will find yourself in one or more of the categories in the different decades, and if not, please know that I'm including you anyway. After all, I wouldn't be a blogger if it weren't for the people who actually read my stuff, so there you go. Thank you for your part in helping to shape me into who I am, as of June 14, 2025: Danette Martin, a brand-new sixty-year-old! 

First Decade: 1965-1975, ages newborn to 10 years old

My mom, Eva Kauffman Schrock 

Not only did Mom do her part in shaping me physically, she helped to build my character, and was a strong part of my spiritual formation in those early years. Because of her, I have freckles, I do household chores with precision, I inherited a propensity for getting into a giggle fit at inappropriate times, I talk to God about things as big as world leaders and as small as a lost toy, I get grouchy upon spending too much money, I love teaching, and my heart goes out to suffering creatures, human or otherwise. 

My dad, Daniel Schrock

He's the reason I am particular about doing things right even if it takes a long time. He's deepened my passion for words and The Word, for close family relationships, for good music, for creativity in photography, for learning new things, for taking an interest in people and remembering their names. Because of his example as a father who not only expected obedience but also offered much understanding, acceptance, and affection, (and still does, to this day) my concept of God takes on a similar shape. 

My twin sister, Annette Schrock Bechtel 

She's the one who taught me the joy of togetherness by living it with me as my look-alike in facial features, many expressions and actions, and dress (for the first sixteen or so years of our lives, anyway). With her as my co-experiencer of life in a myriad of ways, I learned to be as companionable and compassionate (hopefully) as I am competitive. Without her example, it wouldn't be as easy for me to be grateful, organized, discerning, and encouraging. I also wouldn't be so apt to hoot with laughter and get teary in the same minute during a phone call, to get a cold sore the same week she does, to buy her the same card or give her the same type of birthday gift as the one she gives me.

My brothers Todd Schrock and Tim Schrock 

As we were growing up, they gave me plenty of opportunity to hone my childcare skills, although they would give the talent a different title, such as Biggest Boss of Brothers, perhaps. While I appreciate their help in developing my ability to take teasing, I can thank them even more for forming my idea of brotherhood by their partnership in creative play, comradeship in work projects, and their fellowship around tables and in vehicles. (How many children can fit, a.k.a. squeeze/cram/squish, into one car on a school run?) By the value they place on staying connected with family, they continue to enrich my life and shape my sense of worth.

Grandpa LeRoy and Grandma Anna Schrock 

(L to R behind us twins in the photo: Grandpa Kauffmans, Great-grandpa Levi Schrock, Grandpa Schrocks) 

Grandpa Schrocks instilled in me the importance of church by their example of being there on time, sitting up front, Grandpa sharing a story (through tears) during testimony time and heartily joining in the singing (especially A Wonderful Savior is Jesus My Lord), and Grandma willingly and thoroughly cleaning the church building during the week. They influenced me through their generosity at home, too, sharing popcorn and pink peppermints, fun toys like Fisher Price little people and fun music such as the Medical Mission Sisters and Harmony Three on vinyl records, and speaking words of admonition and encouragement. 

Grandpa Andrew and Grandma Aletha Kauffman 

Grandpa Kauffmans, through no real intention on their part, gave me the experience of having one set of grandparents living far enough away to warrant a trip to get there, and often staying over a few nights. Visiting them taught me a love of country life, as well as pushed me into learning new things, what with opportunities to play by the creek, hike in the river bottoms, fish with a bamboo pole, mix up a pretend "stew" with field corn kernels and tiny pinecones, gather asparagus from the garden (and later try to choke down the compulsory bite or two of it, cooked) and pad barefoot through the straw (and squishy bits of chicken poop) in the hen house to gather fresh-laid eggs. I also watched Grandpa Kauffmans interact with neighbors and community people, which showed me what sharing Jesus' love with others looks like.

Other Relatives 

Uncles and aunts, especially the ones that weren't married yet or were newly married and not quite so involved with raising my cousins, became my heroes as they paid attention to me, inviting me into conversation, games, walks, or even - wonder of wonders - a road trip with them! Some of them taught me how to do new, frightening things like striking a match to light the fire on the trash in the burn barrel, and some were kind of scary (but kind of sounding just like mom) when they made threats like, "If anybody walks in that muddy garden one more time, they're going to get it!" But they sure produced some fun cousins to admire, make forts with in the snow, play rousing outdoor games with, and later, to confide in, attend Bible School with, and eventually compare parenting/grandparenting notes with.  

Church People 

I look back on the small group of people that comprised my church community, and feel so blessed to have had their influence in my life. Some left a posititve impression on me by the way they taught the Sunday School and Summer Bible School classes I attended, or had a memorable "children's class" in a Sunday evening service. Some led the singing engagingly, or interacted meaningfully with us children in the audience during a devotional at church. The informal times in their homes had an impact, too. Whether it was sharing their actually-too-big-for-me bike for riding on their amazing trails in the woods, delicious homemade food at sewing circle, a nut-cracking bee - a social event for all ages, or singing at the local nursing home, they gave me the joy of belonging. 

Schoolmates in Public School 

Although they only had one year to do it, my teachers and classmates at Hayward School helped to shape my views on education and the experience of learning in community. Because of them, I believe that Grade One teachers should have the gentleness and patience of Miss Bowman, that assistant teachers can foster learning by rousing curiosity and excitement (such as having students guess what you're shaking in a tin can and allowing each student to have one of the candies after you've disclosed that it's lemon drops rattling around in there), that girl drama happens early in school life but it can and usually does resolve at some point, and that first-grade boys, although popular opinion might lead you to believe otherwise, can be quite charming. 

Neighbors 

In my young life, our neighbors provided hospitality, entertainment, and wonder. They helped to expand my knowledge and to shape my sense of community. Because of them, I learned that there are different languages in the world, a variety of ethnic dishes, and there are various ways of adding humor to one's life. The Frys and Sperlings, the Phillips and Leffingwell (sp?) families, the Smiths and Dietz's, the Cormacks and Hamblins and Froemels, and so many more, all contributed something to our lives by being themselves and sharing their particular interests and abilities. I'm sure that our Northwoods Beach neighbors Earl and Grace had no idea that they inspired in me a lifelong love of word games when they introduced to our family the newest sensation in word-lover circles, a fascinating board game called Scrabble.  

Many Little Yesses

Some weeks ago I overheard a friend of mine describing her current life as "a summer of many little yesses". In looking back over the past few months, I feel like I could steal her intriguing phrase to describe my summer, too. I've decided to post a bunch of pics here to illustrate what some of those yesses have been. 

In June, July, and August, I have said yes to...

...a change of age:             

It's pretty special to have relatives who go all out celebrating a sis-in-law's birthday at a cabin they have rented by the lake. 

It's also pretty special to have a relative - specifically, a son named Ricky - who goes all out creating a unique birthday cake with which to surprise his mom. A Boggle-lover like me will appreciate the cake's likeness to a real Boggle game tray, and the way the letters join each other in true Boggle fashion to spell Happy Birthday, Mom. (Click here to watch Ricky's fun video of the cake-making process.)

...babysitting a certain little chap: 

...garden and porch and patio parties:

The spread at an annual garden party, where the dishes are as varied and beautiful and enjoyed as the seven ladies who bring them. 

My friend and walking buddy "Debbie" and I were the recipients of a delightful tea time put on by my mom-in-law. My, but she knows how to turn a little get-together into a treat!

A wonderful thing about the start of Covid restrictions being lifted is that we can host backyard gatherings again, legally. Three of my sisters-in-law & co. came one evening in July to help celebrate their bro Ken's birthday. Lots of opinions, laughter, and food were shared in this circle.

...trying my hand at watercolor painting:

...a church biking social:

...strolls on trails and along beaches:

...welcoming Kerra back into home life:

One evening Kerra made and served us green shakshuka, an African (or Israeli?) dish of eggs poached in sauteed herbs and other greens, which we quite enjoyed. 

...making food and enjoying other people's food:

A few times this summer I have made a Spinach Pasta salad. The thought of putting greens and pasta in the same salad was intriguing to me, and after trying it, I can now recommend it as a great combination. The fruit and cashews have something to do with my recommendation, too, I'm sure. Another item of note is that the salad pairs quite nicely with pizza mountain pies. Just sayin'...

...unique opportunities:

One evening we joined some Grace and Oasis church people to cut up rutabagas for the dicer machine at a food-drying facility called Reapers of Hope. 

We were so grateful to be able to go camping with our church family this year. From helping each other snip beans for meal prep to gathering around a huge campfire for a sing-n-share time, and lots of variety in between, we made some great memories!

Some of the little yesses of the past month have added up to larger yesses, including a 3-part trip, a huge goal accomplished, and a Kenites rendezvous. These bigger events merit an entire blog post and a photos focus of their own. Perhaps I will say yes to blogging about them here in the coming weeks. 

Note to email subscribers: This is the first blog post I have published since switching to a different blogger emailing service (or whatever you call it - I definitely am not as tech savvy as I'd like to be!) If things aren't coming through as well as they used to or as they should, please let me know. Thanks!