Kissables in Spring

 

Recently I told some friends a few things they may not have known about me before. Included on that list was "when I see springtime treasures such as emerging pink-tipped apple blossoms, I get an urge to kiss them." 

I think such a whimsical response to the world coming alive again in the Spring is hereditary. While my father taught me to notice details, my mother showed me how to exclaim over them. 

My first mom, whom I now call Mom-Eva, would stand out in a gusty wind with her arms outstretched and upraised in joyous welcome. She would see bright morning sunshine and burst into song. She would burrow her nose deep into a full-blown peony and breathe "Oh, the whole world smells wonderful!". Like her, I want to gather all the gorgeous, vibrant, expanding things into my embrace and shout a hallelujah to their Maker. 

My Eva mom loved flowers. When I see the flowers of Spring, I think of her. In the springtime twenty-six years ago, she passed way from cancer.  Whenever May 3 rolls around again, I think of her. Today is the second Sunday in May. Every Mother's Day, of course, I think of her.

This year on Mother's Day, as I ponder kissables in Spring, I think of two little stories - one for each of my two moms. 

Mom-Eva was quite ill in the weeks before her death. Eventually she lost the strength even to walk outside and admire the things in nature that were coming alive. We daughters-turned-caregivers knew that her cancer was terminal, and we tried to keep her as comfortable as possible in her own home, while looking for ways to cheer her and ourselves in that bleak landscape of our lives. One day my sister brought Mom a bright little pansy plucked from her own garden. Mom lifted the flower to her lips and kissed its cheery face. 

My second mom, whom I call Mom-Ruthie, went from being mother of two to a mom of eight and grandma to a handful of littles just like that, the day she married my dad. I thought she transitioned into her mother and grandmother roles admirably. I remember a sweet little tradition she began with the grandchildren in which she would "taste their cheeks" to determine what they'd had for a meal. She'd pretend to give a little nibble on their kissable cheeks, and murmur, "Hmmm, tastes like...some kind of meat...you must have had chicken for dinner. Oh, and I taste some jello over here. Red applesauce jello, right?" She'd taste-kiss the child's other cheek and discover some ice cream dessert there, setting the youngster to giggling over the ways of their wise and wonderful Grandma Schrock.

I guess I learned from both of my mothers to embrace the sweet little things in life.

Happy Mother's Day to the moms I have currently - Mom Schrock and Mom Martin. And to anyone who is a mom or has a mom (or wishes they still did)!

Three Ideas on Mother's Day

There are so many things I could put into a blog post for Mother's Day. Memories of Mom-Eva, thoughts of love and gratitude for Mom-Ruthie (the best second mom ever) and Mom Martin (the best mom-in-law ever), funny sayings and exasperating moments arising from life with my offspring back when I was a young mother, lovely ways that my now-adult children are rising up and calling me blessed...you get the picture.

                               Photo Credit: Ken Martin

While there is certainly ample fodder for all those things, I'm not going there in this post. I've decided instead to share a few things a mother or a teacher (or, really, anyone who influences young people in some way) can impart to children.

Among the habits and abilities one could pass along to children, there are certain skills that I think are beneficial for any young person to carry with them into adulthood - handy tools to pull out of one's carpenter apron in life, as it were. Here are three of them:

Skill #1. How to begin and maintain good conversation.
As an adult, one will likely encounter many situations in which steady and meaningful conversation is welcomed, if for nothing else but to override swallowing noises of guests at a Sunday dinner table, as my mom used to say. It can be of great benefit to have two or three conversation starters to pull out of one's bag to get things started. And just a hint on that - something I heard a long time ago and makes total sense to me: It is better to ask someone what they like about a thing, rather than if they like a certain object or situation. You'll be able to maintain a conversation much longer, for instance, if you ask a scholar "What do you like about school?" rather than "Do you like school?" Or, more appropriately for the season: "What do you like about your mother?" instead of "Do you like your mother?"

Skill #2. Knowing what to do when you're bored.
The current lockdown aspect of the COVID-19 pandemic has likely brought out the boredom feature of everyday life in many a household. What better time is there than now for honing the skill of coping or even thriving when bored? "Go read", "Here, I'll give you a chore to do", "Let's play a guessing game" were some of my mom's responses when I or one of my siblings posed the question of "I'm bored - what can I dooooo?" These suggestions join a host of possible ways to occupy one's body and mind in a meaningful way during a time of potential drudge and laziness. Learning to recognize the onset of boredom and knowing how to implement such boredom busters as reading, doing crafts, working on a project, engaging in hobbies, playing board games, writing, doing jigsaw puzzles, etc. is a skill worth developing. And, if all else fails, one can always resort to playing with words!

Skill #3. The habit of writing things down.
There are ever so many good uses for knowing how to process, clarify, record, document and remember something by writing it down. The older we grow, the more we realize that we will tend to forget the details of life happenings if we don't write them down as soon as possible after they happen. Journaling is a great way to practice this skill and one can begin it already at a young age. Making lists, using a planner, taking notes, and recording data are other great habits to develop along the writing lines. My sisters and I used to chuckle at our mom's propensity for splashing the name and date in magic marker seemingly on every gift or item she purchased, but now we find ourselves doing similarly. Is this for nostalgia's sake, or did her writing habits rub off on us? Even though she's been gone 25 years now, I keep thinking of things she taught me that I want to always remember, and to pass on to my children. Perhaps I'd better go write them down!

Are there things you would add to this list? What do you consider essential skills to pass on to the younger people in your life?

For You, Mom

Since today is Mother’s Day and since it is also close to the anniversary date of my first mom’s Homegoing, I will dedicate this post to the memory of Mom-Eva. She passed away from cancer twenty-four years ago this month. I’ve been thinking a lot about her these days.

Much of this post consists of photos that I took recently of things that make me think of her. I shot a number of these pics when I went on a walk in the woods this week. The names and features of the flowers and birds in the photos I learned from Mom when I was a child. Mom would have enjoyed going on that walk with me, and I would have loved to have her along. I miss you, Mom-Eva!

This Post’s Quotables:

Here are a few expressions and exclamations that come to mind when I recall Mom-Eva quotes.

        “All good things take time” (said especially in regards to us children dating and her not wanting us to be in too much of a hurry to get married)

        “La, ti, do!” or “This day do I remember my faults.” (scolding herself when she pulled a blooper)

        “Let’s pray about it.”

     “We all have to fight our own lazies.”

       “Step up and help with the dishes.” (someone who could "see work" - a character quality highly praised by Mom - wouldn’t need to be told this)

This Post’s Childhood Memory:

While Mom-Eva was ambitious and no-nonsense in so many ways - to a fault, at times - she allowed for leisure and fun, too. It still rather surprises me that she allowed my twin and me to play with her hair once in a while. She would sit and read a book by the light of the living room lamp, and we were allowed to unpin her covering, undo her little hair bun by pulling out the hairpins and un-tucking the brown holey hairnet, remove several bobby pins that were holding her two front hair “swoops” in place on either side of the “part” down the middle of head, and brush out the short and rather thin locks. I still remember the oily, shampoo-ey smell of her hair. Sometimes, we’d re-comb her hair and try to put it up again exactly like Mom did, and sometimes we were silly and put our own colorful barrettes at odd places in her hair or made funny little braids haphazardly over her head. She’d smile indulgently when we’d stand back and giggle at the effects. I wonder if she was conscious then of the connection she was building with us in those moments.

In what ways did your Mom connect with you when you were a child?