Done With Me

I do it every time. Even during a Christmas season in which I am intentional about slowing down, in spite of ramping up the expectations by telling other people about my intentions, no matter that I definitely plan not to, I do it: I GET UPTIGHT.

Making lists helps me to feel more relaxed, probably because it gives me at least some sense of being in control of things. If I can pull down items out of the thick, swirling nebula of Everything I Could, Would, and Should Do, and get them down on paper in concrete terms, I don't feel quite so anxious. This year, though, in spite of intentionally slowing down and in spite of making numerous lists, I started feeling the Christmas-planning-and-preparation crunch around the middle of December. 

So timely, then, was the reading for the day from Ann Voskamp's book "The Greatest Gift" on Dec. 16: "...we are most prepared for Christ, for Christmas, when we confess we are mostly not prepared. Rest here. There is only room in us when we are done with us." 

It's my annual tradition to read through "The Greatest Gift" from Dec. 1-25, marking passages that are meaningful to me that particular year, as well as answering the questions in the daily Moment for Reflection sections. 

Because I can read back over my notes in the book from year to year, I am beginning to notice themes that connect my present circumstances and wisdom from the Book (through Ann's words). Two basic themes I see recurring are 1. I am not enough 2. He is. 

In view of my yearly notations, it seems that I should expect uptightness over Christmas time. I should also expect HisLightness to be offered. Why am I surprised by both?

Perhaps Ann has experienced both, as well. She writes as though she has. There were other timely gems that I treasured during my slowing down times with her Advent book:

"You are most prepared for Christmas when you are done trying to make your performance into the gift and instead revel in His presence as the Gift."

"You most take hold of God when you simply receive Him in the moment taking hold of you. Taking hold of your unsure hand. Taking hold of your unseen needs. Taking hold of your unknown stress."

"We struggle to receive. Sometimes we are better givers than getters. Grace? For me? I don't have to bring anything? What if someone sees how empty I am? How I am not enough, how my gifts are not enough, how giving all I've got is never enough? ...your greatest gift is not your gifts, but your surrendered yes to be a space for God."

"Nothing is harder for capable people at Christmas than to simply come and receive."

I've made a mental list for myself:

Simple Reminders for an Uptight Dani

1. Rest. 

2. Receive.

3. Repeat.

One of my favorite gifts to receive this season is time spent with family. The following pics are a sampling of those times in the weeks surrounding Christmas. 

I enjoyed helping Kerra (a Junior Sunday School superintendent) choose, purchase, and wrap Christmas gift books for the preschool children at our church. 

One evening when Kayleen & Carlin were at our place for the holidays, we took them out for supper to a local Swiss Chalet restaurant. In a sweet moment of serendipity, we met Ken's sister Colleen and her family in the parking lot when we arrived. Neither of our two families had known the other would be there! We were able to sit at the same table to enjoy our meals and conversation together. 

At the Kenites' Christmas gathering, Grandpa and Seth "played" several games of chess together.

Favorite family gathering games include Codenames.

At a meal during the Kenites Christmas Gathering we included our friend "Debbie", who was highly appreciative of the food and fellowship.

Ken's mom and sisters (Laurel, Janet, Colleen, Sharon) are wonderful ladies in my life!

These lovely young ladies are only two of the bunch of Martin Family nieces and nephews that has been accumulating over the years. Aren't I such a lucky aunt?

What gifts have you enjoyed receiving over the Christmas season this year?