Since this theme of Slowing Down has been on my mind so much recently, I've begun analyzing ways in my life that I intentionally "put on the brakes" or "haul on the binders", as my dad used to say. I've also been noticing areas in which I would like to practice more slowing down. I decided to make a list for each. I will share the results with you here. Note that the items on each list are not necessarily entered in the order of importance.
How I Practice Slowing Down:
1. Open my eyes to the treasure around me. Noticing things takes time, but slowing down and looking for the beauty in the ordinary all around me is very rewarding. When I see something unique or fascinating, I like to point it out to others, since taking the time to share the beauty with someone enriches my treasure hunt experience.
2. Pay attention to my body. I tend to take tension and anxiety inward. Sometimes when I am in hurry mode, I'm startled to realize that my forehead is literally bunched, my posture is hunched and my stomach is crunched. Taking a few moments to purposefully straighten my shoulders, lean back into the couch or seatback, and relax my facial and abdominal muscles can do wonders. (Sometimes my tongue is literally scrunched, too, and I need to purposefully peel it off the roof of my mouth.)
3. Name what's driving me. When the pressure starts to build, and I find myself getting uptight, it is helpful for me to identify what is causing the tension by naming it. Maybe I'm Overwhelmed or Fearing Failure or Lacking Wisdom. It could be that I have fallen into the trap of Pride or Comparison or People-pleasing (again. sigh.) When something has a name, it becomes more real, and I can start to get a handle on it, rather than having it control me. Also, if it is something I need to repent of, naming it is the first step in confession - agreeing with God about its reality. Then I can give it over to Him to handle. In any case, the intentional naming invites me to slow down in order to put into words what I am facing as well as helps to bring more clarity and peace to the situation.
4. Make lists. Related to No. 3, this exercise requires slowing down in order to clarify and simplify. If all the things I have to do at any given time are a milling herd of nervous cattle, making a list is my lariat for corralling the lot. Hopefully the gathering and sorting results in calmer, more functional beasts.
5. Be grateful. Often, the act of gratitude requires me to shift focus and energies from myself to others. Slowing down to acknowledge that I owe a debt of thanks, and to direct the payment of gratitude to the giver is very beneficial. An almost-daily way I do this is documenting my thanks in a gratitude journal. Not only does it require me to slow down long enough to write a few lines, but also reading back over the list periodically results in restful reflection that multiplies the thanks.
6. Use a grounding technique. When I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart and brain going at unearthly speed and hours, it helps me to do this calming exercise involving the five senses: 5. See five things (kind of hard to do in the darkness of midnight, but usually possible, albeit dimly) 4. Feel four things (smoothness of pillowcase, warm air from the register, etc.) 3. Hear three things (no problem with this one, especially if your spouse snores) 2. Smell two things (hopefully I can find good smells like shampoo or dried-on-the-clothesline sheets) 1. Taste one thing (this one is the trickiest; sometimes I'll have a tasty morsel only in my imagination)
7. Breathe-pray. Of course everyone knows that prayer changes things, including pace of life, but I'll admit that sometimes my thoughts and fears are on the autobahn and I can't even slow them down into sensible words, let alone sentences or paragraphs. I have found that the simplest prayers can be most effective. Once I heard a young lady say that our very breathing can be prayer, and I haven't dug into the theology of that or anything, but I think she is on to something. I tried it one night when I was experiencing sleep disturbances and kept waking up anxious. I decided to breathe-pray in short, easy phrases. Because we'd just had Communion at church and heard a sermon on "tasting" our Living Bread, I breathed in with these words, "I'm needy" and breathed out with Jesus' answer to me, "Take, eat (Me)". Through this simple repetitious conversation, Jesus brought me such calm.
How I Wish I Would Practice Slowing Down: (as in, slowing down on my way to altogether stopping, not slowing down to savor!)
1. Not allow myself to be sucked into reading controversial-subjects-threaded facebook posts. I would love to learn the discipline of confidently strolling on by (or would it be scrolling on by?), if I know they will profit me nothing - or at least not much!
2. Get rid of the FOMO bug. Fear Of Missing Out is a pesky nuisance that can quickly develop into a full-blown infestation. I think FOMO is a modern term for NV, something that's been around for a long time. Contentment would be a good start in eradicating the pest.
3. Be done with assuming things about others, judging their actions and motives, and trying to fix them, which is really just a nice name for being controlling. Not that I would have much experience in this department, or anything...
4. Kick the habit of pro cras tin a ting. Putting off, and putting off something important is not an ideal way to slow down. (Is this blog post a case in point??)
5. Forego the fear of failure. I've been noticing lately just how paralyzing this fear can be. If love is the antidote and caster-outer of fear, I should think that "doing the next right thing in love" (as Emily P Freeman, for one, says) is a great way to practice halting the failure fear.
What are the ways you are intentional about slowing down in your life - in a busy season, especially? Are there also areas in which you'd like to begin slowing down, with the goal of stopping entirely? I'd love to hear about them!
Danette, I am always inspired when I read your blogs. And I hear your mother in just about every one. This one in particular. Aunt Eva and my father were so pivotal in my formative years. Always the ones to point out for me the beauty of something simple. I remember with your mother that even though we were busy in the garden and just about to the frustration point of pulling one more weed or harvesting one more bean or pea pod - she would point out the worm or how the dirt feels so good filtering through your fingers as you pull that weed. My dad would ping me with a "no good" strawberry and get me to laughing. I treasure those memories. I treasure the beauty of the simple that they both taught me. When I read your words here today, I can also hear your mother. She was such an amazing woman. She had so much wisdom that came out through the little things and the practical day to day happenings. The slowing down I believe is more mental than physical even though we need to do those physical things to slow down mentally. LOL Thank you for your transparency. God is working in you to will and to do His good work. =) Grace for ourselves is also needed. Leaning into that grace is also part of the "slowing down". Much love and blessings to you today, my dear cousin. I am enjoying being to learn more about who you are in your blogs. Since we only truly spent time with each other in our childhoods. I confess that I don't know you or your sister as well in our adulthood. Technology can be a very good thing. =)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this encouraging note, Vi! I loved the memories you shared of my mom and your dad, as well as the good reminders such as slowing down being largely a mental exercise and how we need to lean into God's working and grace for ourselves. I also agree that technology is a very good thing when it comes to reuniting long lost cousins! :)
DeleteAlways so glad that we have good friends who double as good writers and challenge us to be better people....oh I have so much territory to cover yet though...as I press on!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouraging comment. I only wish I could know the Unknown...
DeleteThanks for everything written here. What struck me the most was the point on not trying to assume things about others and judge actions and motives. How I need to hear that! When really there is so much rest in leaving all that in God's hands and just believing we are loved as we are.
ReplyDeleteThis is from Delphine Horst :)
DeleteThanks for your response! I love hearing what points especially resonate with my blog readers. I'm also grateful you mentioned your name...I probably should know you, but I can't think of a connection - forgive me. And feel free to enlighten me! :)
DeleteGood morning, I loved all this post, but I especially resonated with numbers 2, 3, & 6 in the first list. I am going to have to try the grounding technique. I think that would help me with number 2, being aware of my body as well.
ReplyDelete