Last month I began a 60th Birthday series by posting photos of me with people I met during the first decade of my life, along with some descriptions of ways they influenced me. Here is the second installment of my reflections on those who helped shape me; this post spans my life's second decade, most of which I spent as a teen.
Second Decade: 1976-1985, ages 11 to 20 years old
My brother Troy Schrock
Troy's coming into our family
brought me the excitement of being an 11-year-old big sister. As he grew up, he
astounded me with his quick learning (he started walking when he was 9 months
old), amused me with his funny sayings and later his witty remarks and puns, and
annoyed me with his untidy ways. If I had known back then how inventive he
would become, what wisdom he would gain, and how inspiring it would be to have
discussions with him on philosophical and spiritual topics, I likely would have
offered him more grace. I appreciate, and am still learning from, his example of having a calm and matter-of-fact approach to life.
My sister Faye Schrock Eby
Faye displayed tenaciousness from the very beginning of her life. Early on, she got me going in lessons of prayer over the health and development of preemie babies, since she came ten weeks before her due date. (Many years later the practice would revive when my twin granddaughters came eleven weeks early.) Over the years, my youngest sister has showed me that spunk and expressiveness can add such color to life. She has also demonstrated in the most delightful way that an age gap of sixteen years can eventually shrink into oblivion as sister-bonding strengthens. These days, video chats with us three sisters are comedy, empathy, and serendipity all wrapped into one joy-filled gift of time.
Church School classmates and teachers
I didn't realize it then, but the visionaries and practical workers in my church who got Northwoods Mennonite School going in the 1970's were key people to place rebar in the foundation of my Christian education. My teachers followed, a line of mostly young women who, in spite of the rapid turnover of teachers from year to year in that era (only one of them broke the record by teaching two years in a row at our school), made an impression on me with their various methods of educating. Most outstanding were the ones whose love of teaching was the spark that lit my own passion for teaching. (The two-year teacher also fanned its flame by giving me teacher apprenticeship opportunities.)
My classmates helped to make school a place I wanted to be. They shared with me the love of learning, taught me that young students can be both annoying and charming, increased my delight in collective imagination during art class or creative play at recess, and posed a challenge of loyalty. Will I listen to Mom & Dad and wear my rubber boots at recess even on a sunny day in spring or be swayed by my teammates' pleas for me to ditch the clunky footwear so I can run to first base faster when it's my turn to kick in a game of Kickball? And, although some of the girl classmates pulled me into more relationship drama than I wished to experience, they provided me with lifelong friendship material.
Northwoods Youth Group and youth leaders/sponsors
We had a small youth group when I was growing up, but it was large enough to make a significant impact on me in my late teens and early twenties. There's something about sharing experiences with young peers, from the lighter fare of daffy and mystery suppers to the more serious times of discussing scripture, that expands one's world and deepens roots of beliefs and values. I attribute my spiritual growth over this time, at least in part, to the youth leaders (we called them youth sponsors) of our group, too. Their genuine interest in me made a huge and positive impression.
My youth group also helped me hone my skills in music. I learned more about sight singing, and about teamwork in choral music when surrounded by my youth group and some older church members as Northwoods Chorus prepared to go on its first-ever choir tour. "Making a tape" with my twin and Monica, our good friend from the youth group, taught me lessons in faithfulness as we met for practice sessions, and perseverance as we slogged our way through the disppointment of needing to redo the recording session (to block out road noise from outside the studio that managed to invade our first cassette).
Employers and guests
Employment by neighbors and acquaintances in the Round Lake Peninsula vicinity offered valuable lessons in the work world. For instance, a job at Harry's Berries taught me precision while feeding strawberry shoots hairy with roots into the rubber cups of the planter's wheel, endurance while snipping blossoms or hoeing weeds in the long berry rows under a hot sun, and bravery when instructed to wield my hoe for squishing the grubs found in the soil under wilted strawberry plants.
While working for people in our community, not only did I gain experience in earning and managing money; I also learned household tips (or hacks, as they are called nowadays) and got to see first-hand how unique and interesting employers can be. Recalling days of working (usually with my twin) at cleaning cabins, making beds at a resort, babysitting, raking leaves, and painting stirs up memories of certain individuals - Elsa squinting at me through her thick eyeglasses and declaring (in her strong German accent) that I couldn't have dusted everything properly in that amount of time, short Betty J hunched up over the car's steering wheel as she drove and alternately creeping along or gunning it on our way to a cleaning job, and Mercedes (no, not Benz) marching from cabin to cabin and scrubbing kitchen sinks with the energy and enthusiasm of someone half her age.
I also was shaped by my parents' practice of inviting community folk into our home for meals and into our lives for friendship. Whether they were neighbors, long-time or new acquaintances of Mom and Dad, customers of Mom's garden produce, or employers and patrons in Dad's carpenter business, they entered our family's world and brightened it.
Maranatha Bible School
The time I spent at Bible School (altogether, parts of seven consecutive years) was a very formative experience in my journey toward adulthood. Interacting with the students expanded my social circles and knowledge of social ettiquette. Because of MBSers, I lost some of my shyness and gained more confidence. (I hope) Some among the group who were mere acquaintances at the start went on to become life-long friends, and in some cases, part of my second family. During some terms, a bonus was having other twin pairs around to relate to. The classes I took whetted my appetite for studying the scriptures, and discussing practical aspects of Christian living. I had some teachers that made such a positive impression on me that to this day I want to read their stuff, listen to their messages, and talk to them in person when I get a chance.
Happy Hollow School
Moving to Arkansas and living in a Happy Hollow as a teacher for two school years helped to prepare me for adapting to life in a new community later on after I was married. Ora & Edna Mae and their daughter Marcile, my co-teacher, provided an example of gracious hosts as they eased a rather timid and quite homesick 19-year-old into their family, church, school, and community culture. New experiences and challenges abounded in my first years of teaching; I benefitted from needing to grow my courage and confidence. Joining a local youth group in their ministry and social activities, and later, singing in a choir composed of young adults from three different churches, offered pleasant diversion from teaching and gave me a place of belonging. Since the time I spent living in that down-home mountain hollow, I have kept a warm place in my heart for folksy people, certain phrases spoken in a southern drawl, dulcimer music, and idyllic scenes such as dogwoods and redbuds overhanging creeks running under low-water bridges.
Grandma Verda Smeltzer Schrock
Some years after Grandma Schrock died from cancer, Grandpa Schrock got married to an older single lady named Verda, introducing me to the concept of welcoming step-people into the family. (also to the interesting phenomenon of old people getting sweet on each other) Grandma Verda was a great example of faithfulness in domestics, washing dishes vigorously and ironing religiously as she did. And generosity seem to ooze out her pores. I know that when I make food for twice as many guests as are around my table but still urge them to "Here, have some more", Grandma's hospitality features have rubbed off on me. I still have some handwritten letters from her, showcasing the fact that to enliven one's missives, you can never use too many! exclamation! marks! “We certainly don’t deserve all of His love! and yet He delights in His children to love and serve Him!... Thank you for coming so far to attend our tenth anniversary!... If in my old age, my mind ever begins to wander to the point of slow return like hers did, I hope I can be as sweet about it as she was.
KEN!
Ever since he was my Bible School buddy who then became my boyfriend, and then became my husband, Ken has taught me so much about steadfastness in many areas of life. Early on in our friendship I noticed his commitment to God, his love of children and the value he placed on family. I was impressed with his dedication to pursuing his relationship with me through the many miles (and another country) that separated us, mail delays, a mom who kept the brakes on as much as she dared, teasing from my brothers and others, my doubts and my determination to do things exactly right, (already back then our rule-upholder and rule-questioner tendencies showed up in contrasting measure) and the focus I placed on my school-teaching responsibilities.
Ken, a.k.a. Mr. Optimistic, has been a helpful counter-balance to my pessimism, and I appreciate what he's taught me about living life even-keeled. The blessed thing about my marriage to him is that, even though we're both 60 now, he's still helping to shape who I am becoming.
