Post #3 of My Sixtieth Birthday Series: People Who Helped Shape Me (Third Decade)

I'm in the (slow) process of writing about people who have influenced me in various ways over the years. I've been separating my ponderings into blog posts spanning one decade at a time. This is the third installment of the series I began since turning 60 this past summer. Click here to see the first post and here for the second installment, in case you need to backtrack. 

Third Decade: 1986-1995, ages 21 to 30 years old

Bethany Christian School

Following my two years of teaching in Arkansas, I taught for two more years - at a new school in my own home state. I moved from Hayward to Stratford, Wisconsin (a three-hour drive) to teach at Bethany Christian School in its first two years of existence. (I've been called the George Washington teacher of the school, which is a bit much, in my opinion) The school board and the parents of the students were generous with their guidance and affirmation as I tried to be a good pioneer teacher. I don't know quite how it happened, but some very special bonds were formed between the students and me during those years I spent among them and their families. To this day, meeting up with them not only kindles fond memories, but also continues to encourage me when they say things like, "You were my favorite elementary teacher."  

I boarded with a widow named Verna, and her deaf daughter, Lori. By her example, Verna taught me much about hard work, compassion for suffering people, expressiveness in prayer, and trust in God to meet one's needs. Boarding with her and Lori also gave me new opportunities, such as growing accustomed to the living quarters of an old farmhouse (think steep stairs and tiny bedrooms) and learning the basics of sign language. 

In-laws

My very first in-law was Nolan, my twin's husband. Brono (from Brother Nolan), as we affectionately called him, was my only in-law for the seven weeks between their wedding and ours, at which time I received a passel of in-laws by marrying Ken. Nolan has always impressed me with his ambition and wisdom, and the way he loves and leads his family. Over the years, I've gained more in-laws on the Schrock side, who add beauty, friendship, and interest to my life. 

I couldn't ask for a better second family than the Applepeople Tribe. Ken's family has taught me, by their example in their apple-packing business, the richness of befriending and interacting with people of any nationality. Not only have I gained from The Martins a host of great recipes, definitions to many new words or phrases, and instructions to a myriad of games, I have also gradually learned how to consider what I called arguments as mere friendly debates when the family gets together. (how was I to know right off, if voices and emphases are raised over how many kms and point.kilometers it is to Madeupville from here?) 

Tinlerfer People

I have also been influenced greatly and positively by our family's interactions with The Tinlerfer Tribe over the years. Our three-families group began rather spontaneously when I got to know Cathy and Sharon as teachers at Countryside Christian School, back before any of us had children. As we began to add people, activities, and experiences to our group, somebody (Darrel, maybe?) came up with the idea to blend the last parts of our family names into one name to identify the tribe: Tin from the Ken Martin family, ler from the Darrel Wagler Family, and fer from the Steve Kuepfer Family. 

Spending time with the Tinlerfers has taught me much, such as how to efficiently convert one's house into a hotel for three families for one night, tips for cooking meals over a campfire, and how to express oneself more openly with trusted friends, not to mention how to move quick and lively when oil from a fondue pot spills over and catches fire on the tablecloth! 

My son Rolin 

Since Rolin is my firstborn, he has had a profound impact in shaping me as a mother. (ha ha, both literally and figuratively, eh?) Because of him, I took on an identity that in one sense will never leave, even after I die. When he was young, his dependency on me enlarged my heart and expanded my capacity to nuture. As he matured, his questions stemming from a curious nature and his passion for science invited me to grow in the wonder of God's creation. He has helped to teach me, by his example, how to speak clearly both in voice and thoughts while expressing oneself in formal speech or informal discussion. 

These days, he continues to inpsire me with his leadership qualities at work, at church, and in his home - as a husband, and as a father to a first-grader and three preschoolers (who are the exact same age!) His love of books and learning hasn't seemed to diminish, although his responsibilities probably call for more intentionality to get his reading worked in than what it used to. He enhances our family's Christmas gatherings by his expertise in organizing our book/gift exchange annually. 

Circle letter Danettes

I don't know exactly when I started the circle letter that I share with three other Danettes, but I do know that it's been fun to correspond via mail with other ladies who share my not-so-common name. Although the four of us haven't ever gotten together in person, I've had the pleasure of interacting with women younger than me through our exchange of hand-written or typed letters. It seems I've been able to watch them grow up and raise their families (and for some of them, become a grandma) and to sense the ways God is leading them by reading their descriptions on paper and studying the family photo cards we receive from them occasionally. Being in a circle letter with them has also helped me develop some good letter-writing habits, espeically the discipline of getting my contribution in and hopefully not leaving the pack of Danettes literature to languish on the shelf for half a year!

My son Ricky

Ricky, from his very beginning, has shown me the adventure aspect of being one to change things up. He arrived weighing a whopping ten pounds, four ounces, (I called him my 10-4 good buddy) thus offering me the triumph of having my biggest baby as my first natural birth after C-section. As he grew up, he taught me the joys and frustrations of mothering a child who was a delightful mix of artistic, determined, affectionate, wordsmithy, musical, humorous and mischievous. He's also demonstrated to me the fun of spontaneity. He's the only one I know who can readily turn a statement from the cook into a syncopated rap line on the spot: Youcan put da Cool Whip on toppa da pie... 

While Ricky has learned how to push me to the edge of annoyance with his ribbing: Mom, what are the different pronunciations of hock and hawk, again? (to him and his sibs there is no difference) he's also shown me the richness of sharing heart matters. I've also enjoyed the times we've been able to collaborate on creative projects involving photography and videography. I love knowing that I'll get a hanging basket of flowers from him & Jasmine for Mother's Day and I look forward to the little exchanges of conversation we sometimes have when he parks his bike in our garage during his work day at Martin's. I admire the way he relates to children and I'm so excited to see him become a dad for the very first time -soon. 

Countryside Church Friends

In my transitioning from a rather small church setting in northern Wisconsin to the vast Mennoniteland of southern Ontario, I wondered how I could ever feel anchored in the sea of people that inhabited one congregation alone. I guess I just had a lot to learn from the Countryside Church people in the area of welcoming. By being themselves in a solid Waterloo County kind of way, they showed me hospitality and invited me into their homes, their work projects, their Bible studies, and their friendships. (Who knew that one small conversation about parenting could provide much-needed affirmation and pave the way to a lifelong friendship?) In time, I came to appreciate the benefits of belonging to a large church family, not the least of which was having lots of help and support in annual events such as Secret Sisters suppers, Summer Bible School and Sunday School picnics.

Countryside Church Youth Group

There's nothing quite like being youth leaders to help one stay young at heart. The Countryside Youth provided this opportunity for Ken and me while we were youth sponsors for several years early in our marriage. The young men and women in the youth group at the time were gracious and cooperative as I learned to venture beyond my comfort zone in planning and preparing large amounts of food and drink for several dozen people at any given event (I still cringe when I recall the burnt cocoa taste of the hot chocolate served at a youth social due to my not knowing how to operate kitchen equipment for the masses), in heading up discussions/talk times with the girls, and organizing activities for a group of people while knowing I wouldn't be able to please everyone every single time. One of my favorite things about being with the youth was watching them love on our two boys, who were in the toddler and infant stage at the time.