Oxygen Between Her Toes

                                                                           📷- Kayleen Atkinson

Impressions during my first visits to The Twins at Home:

The care of preemie twins is complicated when they come home from the NICU with strings attached. 

In granddaughters Eleanor & Eva's case, the strings are the wires and tubing connecting them to supplemental oxygen tanks and monitors. When the twins were ready for discharge from the hospital, their lungs weren't quite strong enough yet to supply the full amount of oxygen needed to saturate their blood, so they came home "with oxygen". 

Hence there are "strings" running from sensors taped on one foot of each baby to their individual machines monitoring oxygen saturation and heart rate, and from the prongs in each girl's nose to the oxygen tanks nearby. The cords and tubing also drape over the sides of the girls' Moses baskets and coil at the foot of the change table set up in the living-room-turned-temporary-nursery. 

There's a whole collection of terms and expressions dedicated to the theme of coming home on oxygen: 

desat is a short form of the word "desaturation", which means a drop in the level of oxygen in the blood. The term desat also gets used in verb form at times, as in "She had a coughing spell a bit ago; that's why she's de-satting right now." On the other hand, highsat refers to maintaining an oxygen saturation level in the normal range of 95-100%. (I had to ask Carlins if highsat is a term that is used by medical staff or if they made it up, and I found out that the nurses used the term as if it was legit) The word highsat can be "verb-alized" too, as in "Look at Eleanor over here, high-satting during tummy time." 

Who's beeping? Since the girls each have their own monitor which sounds an alarm if either their oxygen level or their heart rate gets too low, the question "Who's beeping?" is asking which girl's alarm went off, and which girl's face should be checked for alertness and good pink color. 

dipping means basically the same idea as having a desat, making the monitor show numbers in the yellow range...if the numbers keep dipping even lower, the red zone will appear and the monitor's alarm will sound. 

She's not picking up There are a lot of false alarms - the machine will blank out sometimes because the sensor is weakening from much use, or one twin is kicking a lot, or the monitor just decides to manifest one of its quirks. 

unhook her During care time or bath time, when the baby needs a diaper swap-out for a blowout, or a full-outfit change, it may be necessary to remove the monitor cord from its connection to the sensor temporarily. This move is sure to summon the monitor's insistent beeping, so the Unplugger will likely become the Silencer of the machine, as well. 

weaning off oxygen refers to getting the baby used to breathing well without the aid of supplemental oxygen. This weaning is done gradually, starting with removing the nasal prongs so the baby doesn't have the oxygen supplement during her nap for an hour at a time. This can be done once or twice a day, with the monitor still keeping track of saturation level and heart rate. If the baby handles it well, the frequency and duration of the weaning may be increased over the next weeks or months.

without oxygen Out of context, this phrase could indicate something quite alarming, but it simply means not needing or providing supplemental oxygen. For now, the words are used in questions and wistful statements such as "Were the twins able to come home from the hospital without oxygen?" and "Think of how we'll be able to carry them around the house... give tub baths... take them on stroller rides... without oxygen!"

her oxygen is twisted The twins' oxygen tubing tends to twine around itself as the girls are picked up from their Moses baskets, taken over to the change table during care times, brought around to the couch for feeding times, and eventually swaddled back into their baskets. No wonder the babies need to be unhooked and their "strings" straightened out at times. 

oxygen between her toes The twins' oxygen tubing and monitor wires can also get hung up on things - when the person carrying a baby accidently steps on the tubing or the cord catches under the handle of a Moses basket or gets stuck between the couch cushions during bottle time. The wires have even been known to tangle around a twin's foot, prompting Kayleen to say, "She's got oxygen between her toes!"

I couldn't help comparing the two Eva's in my life. 

When I first saw little Eva getting oxygen through prongs in her nose and heard the hiss of the oxygen concentrator nearby, it brought back distinct memories of Mom-Eva's experience being "on oxygen". 

My ponderings went something like this: two Eva's...one young and one old (but too young to leave when she did)...both on oxygen...both quite helpless and depending on others for care...the one Eva receiving assistance in breathing while she's fading, her lungs riddled with cancer...the other Eva receiving supplemental oxygen while she's developing and growing, her lungs only getting stronger...two Eva's, both dear to my heart...

I kept wishing I could tell my mom about her namesake great-granddaughter (along with her twin sister). I think it would've been sweet to watch the three meet.

                                                📷- Kayleen Atkinson

It's fascinating to watch your own children parent their children. 

One nice thing about being the grandma of preemie twins is that you can go on upstairs to bed when you get tired in the evenings and leave the baby care to the parents on the main floor. They are the ones responsible for getting up every three to four hours to do the diaper changes and feedings and burpings for the babies. (If they'd have implored me to help do a stint during the night, though, I probably couldn't have said no...as long as I didn't have a cough or cold coming on, anyway.) 

It warmed my heart to observe my daughter and son-in-law taking their parental responsibilities seriously, to see them sacrifice their own comfort and sleep-rights for the sake of the girls' health and well-being, to hear their devotion in the way they crooned the words "You're okay" into a lilting lullaby over the babies, to watch their teamwork during bath times and dr. appointment times for the twins. 

I also enjoyed getting in on conversations with them that included topics such as teaching values to children at an early age, disciplining/discipling children, and how to raise a gifted family to be joyful and generous. I'm inspired by the wisdom and intention of these new parents. 

Some people are so thoughtful. 

When Carlin's little family came home from the hospital, there was food for them in the fridge and on the kitchen counter, placed there by caring friends. The groceries coincided with a list of four meal ideas which were printed out on paper and stuck to the fridge door. Other expressions of thoughtfulness showed up in a bouquet of peach carnations, a hand-written note of encouragement, and text messages letting Carlin & Kayleen know they haven't been forgotten, even though their social interactions have been (and will be for some time) greatly restricted. 

Church people and local friends can't come by in person because of there being vulnerable babies in the house, but they can get creative in their sharing, just the same. Which means that as a young mom you can respond promptly to Kayleen's request for a baby swing to borrow and just because you have stowed yours up in the attic only yesterday since your own baby has outgrown it doesn't mean you can't get Husband to go dig it out again for Carlins. And along with the swing, you can also send meatballs and potatoes, a lovely loaf of sourdough bread, and a chocolate bar, just because asking the Lord to sustain Carlin and Kayleen through this time doesn't mean you can't help out a bit with the sustenance...

I found out that a cuddle session with my twin granddaughters is a prime time for praise.

While snuggling the little Snuffalumps (my pet name for them when they're kind of snuffly from congestion due to prongs in their nose) I'd often gaze at their adorable little selves and marvel. I'd stroke their soft skin and cradle their head in my hand while watching them guzzle milk from their bottles, consider how their weight has gone from 2-something pounds to 8-something and 9 pounds in three months since their birth, and I couldn't help but be in awe of God's doings. 

I'm told my Grandpa Kauffman quoted words from Psalm 118 when my twin and I were born. "This is the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes," he declared. I'm pretty sure he was taking that verse out of context, but he thought it fit for us girls, exactly how I think it fits for our twin granddaughters. My other grandpa had a habit of praying a line that has stuck with me, too. After bringing a request before the Lord, Grandpa would give Him this promise: "and we will be careful to give You all the glory." I think that response is also fitting concerning our grandbabies.  

I've heard someone describe God's grace as our oxygen. If this is true, I believe that praise is a fitting response to breathing in His life-giving substance. "Let everything (everyone) that has breath praise the Lord," says the Psalmist. That includes me. I've seen the hand of God at work in the twins' lives, and I can only breathe out praise to Him as I inhale His grace. If you were to happen in on me these days, it should be no surprise to find me doing a praise dance. I've certainly been dancing in my heart, if not on my literal feet. You might say I've got oxygen between my toes, too.